It’s Wednesday and so let’s share some things I bet you didn’t know.  The best part about this is, it’s not a moronic Facebook application that nags you to pick 65 friends to spam, and it’s not an asinine chain email that promises that 17 albino tortoises will get a new paint job in India if only you send this to 90 of your closest friends and put your name on the bottom.

• Nikki’s feet make kissing noises when she walks in her new Birkenstock sandals , and she loves it.  She paraded around last night, making me listen to her feet.

• Harvey barely woke up when I decided to try a borrowed Pedipaw toenail thingamajig out on him.  The warning to “take it slow, get them used to it” doesn’t apply to him it seems.

• Cael’s bloodsugar levels, if graphed out on paper over the course of a day, would look like the stock price of a late 90’s internet company.

• Since we clarified just how many text messages Jordy is allowed to send in a month without getting charged, the nuances of “virtually unlimited” and “unlimited” have become clear.  The take-home lesson is that while a parent (or probably anyone over 30) would consider 1500 text messages in a month an unattainable number, that number is far too easily doubled and then some by a teenager with “virtually unlimited” time on her hands.

• Quinn is a very capable and logical Battleship opponent, but when playing his younger brother (who knows nothing of determining a hit from a miss) he can be fooled very easily into thinking that he has somehow managed to not miss one single shot, and has sunk 4 out of five of Cael’s ships.  Cael for his part finds misses to be rather boring, and so makes sure that Quinn never has one, logic, geometry and truthfulness be damned.  Quinn is oblivious and is basically supremely confident in his abilities.

• As for myself, I secretly dream of the day when I am wealthy enough to once again chew gum.  I recently broke a molar on a chiclet and paid $1000 to get a crown, and so now I’m too cheap to chew gum.  Damn Scottish frugality, now my breath isn’t minty fresh.

There, now you know more than you did.  Please send this link to no one.   If you do share, do so in the comments.  Also, while writing this post I realized that “too cheap to chew gum” sounds like an old-timey saying your grandfather would use, and it’s now my new favourite thing to say.