Dear Sir,

Your shorts are way way too fricking short.  Those things are one downward dog away from a felony, and we all think you need to go and spend another $5 at Walmart.  (That’s not even snark, read the article for yourself).  Actually, I will send you $5 myself, and sleep the rest of the just for making the world a better place.  If you prefer, I will ship you (priority post) some new shorts straight from the Montreal Wal-Mart that you so prize, but ones that actually cover your pelvic bone, as shorts were meant to do.  The mere thought of these shorts performing any number of yoga poses is terrifying, to say the least.  Some especially scary ones (the world might actually end if you do the last one):

Yes, there are lots of fashion transgressions at the gym, that’s just the way things go, but sir, two wrongs don’t make a right, and you have two wrongs dangerously close to swinging free there and that just won’t do.  Yoga is meant to be relaxing and calming, and I’m taking a wild leap here when I say that I imagine your students are more than a little on edge wondering when something in there might make a salutation of it’s own.  Please do everyone a favour and buy yourself some shorts.  In a pinch, I think we all would settle for really long socks that you could fasten to the bottom of your existing shorts with duct tape.  It might be rather fetching, accenting those shiny metallic monstrosities.

Thank you,

Everyone else on Earth.

I wish I was making this up, but it seems to be far too real.