Tag Archives: moron

Swedish Rock Robot of DOOOM

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A robot technician with apparently a rather rock-shaped head was almost the most recent casualty in the (slow to start but terrifying in it’s inevitability) human-robot war.  It seems that a Swedish factory was using robots to move head-shaped rocks to and fro for some strange reason unclear in the article.  A tech thought he had turned the power off to the robot to service it, but in a moment worthy of the climax of a movie, the robot moved (DUNH DUNH DUNH DUUUUNH! – that’s how you type dramatic scary music sounds) and grabbed Rocky the Technician’s head, apparently thinking that it was a rock, and wouldn’t let go.  Since he didn’t have a gun, grenade, or any other weapon of glamorized movie violence he just managed to escape from the homicidal robot with his life, if not his ribs (why did he break his ribs if the robot had him by the head?), intact.  Whoa, Dude.  It seems that the thing to do when you are hurt at work when you aren’t following any kind of common sense or safety procedures is to sue your employer, and that’s just what Rocky’s doing.

If there was any movie justice in the real world, a much more satisfying conclusion would be for Rocky and the Robot to go a few rounds and settle the matter once and for all, ending only with the utter destruction of one or the other.  That would be awesome. Instead, we all know that the robot was returned to service and life at the plant went back to normal, humans and Robot working side by side.  Or is Robot just patiently biding it’s time, waiting with inhuman patience for the next victim with rocks in his head to get a little too close…. DUNH DUNH DUNH DUUUUNH!

P.S. No robots were harmed during the writing of this post.

P.P.S.  By the way, Swedish Rock Robot of DOOOM is the very best band name I have come up with since Rubber Truck Nut Lover.

Delicious Silica Gel, not just for breakfast anymore

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silicagelGiven that I am a geek, the procurement of geekly devices is the very reason I go to work. Oh, and to provide food and shelter for my family, that too. Anyway, I can happily say that I have been lucky enough to open lots of geek stuff over the years and I have to share something that I have been thinking about for a while now.

The makers of geekly devices ALWAYS pack said devices with at least one or two of these packets of silica gel, somewhere in the box. Silica gel absorbs water. The idea, as I understand it, is to absorb any transient moisture in the box that might damage the precious innards of the object of geekly desire. Anyway, whatever the reason for the gel, the manufacturer prints “do not eat” on each and every packet of this stuff, as if we are simple sheep eating our way into the box, grazing first upon the styrofoam (cut to cradle whatever device is in there), then the plastic bag (inevitably taped and twisted so as to make removal basically impossible), moving on to… what’s this? A small packet of crumbly goodness. You would have to be a complete moron to eat this stuff, even if it does resemble a sugar packet. But wait….

I have opened literally hundreds of boxes of gadgets over the years, each time NOT eating that silical gel, each time noting that the packet says “do not eat”. It’s almost tempting me. Maybe I’m a chump for throwing away thousands of packets of fine tasty silica gel. I wonder what it tastes like? It must be damn tasty to have to remind us each time to NOT eat it, like telling a houseful of kids “Don’t eat these wonderful warm cookies fresh from the oven that I am going to leave on the counter.”

Oh silica gel, why dost thou tempt me so? Sure, you are dusted with a toxic, carcinogenic powder, but so are Sour Patch Kids, and we eat those by the millions. Yes, you are a desiccant, but again, so are Sour Patch Kids….

Sigh.

Here Comes the Gravy

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Man, it must be hard to be a Billy Bob.

In case you haven’t been following this, Billy Bob Thornton and his band the Boxmasters made an appearance on a CBC radio show (inexplicably also filmed and available on YouTube, below) recently.  Good old Billy Bob (can I call you Billy?  or maybe Jerk?) took offense when the radio host mentioned that he is an actor too.  Imagine that, he’s also an actor.  Anyway, what followed was the strangest interview I have ever seen, and it amounted to a hissy fit of epic proportions.  This man is off his rocker if he thinks his little band would be going anywhere if he wasn’t also globally known as an actor.  His star power is opening doors for his music career, and then he pitches a fit when someone mentions that he’s an actor?  It’s crazy.  And no, Billy, you are not Tom Petty, that much is clear.  Tom has been a legendary musician and recording for over 30 years, while you got bored with acting and started a vanity band a couple of years back.  Also, from all accounts, Tom is a nice person.

Good times, and despite his recent apology to all of Canada, it seems that Billy can’t take the heat and is packing up his crap and leaving town, with his tour unfinished.  Yep, that sure seems like what a professional musician would do.  Good job.

You can’t have it both ways buddy.

Here’s Billy Bob making a fool of himself for everyone to see.  It’s a credit to the host that he handled himself as coolly as he did to that pathetic display.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6qyy7bw

Holy Mismanagement of Public Funds, Batman!

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Incredibly, GM lost another $9.6 billion dollars in the last quarter.  Apparently it also set fire to $6 billion in cash, while it was negotiating for that $9 billion in government money.

What in the heck is going on here?  Does this seem insane to anyone else?  How do you spend $6 billion in three months, while at the same time begging with your hat in hand for $9 billion?  Thank god they kept the lights on, churning out crappy vehicles one after another.  They have been dealing with this for months now, and they still have only 6 vehicles out of 54 models available (54!) that even have hybrid as an option, and 4 of those are hybrid SUVs, like we need those somehow.  If this isn’t just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, I don’t know what it is.

Bravo, you guys are really burning up the carpet on this one.  I can’t wait to see how this all turns out, but the sad part is the folks that will suffer because this company can’t seem to pull it’s head out of it’s own butt.

Guns in Churches, why not?

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It’s hard to come up with a pun that hasn’t been overused here, so I won’t.  In the event that a gun toting maniac decides to come and shoot up the church knitting club in Arkansas, finally the ladies can now throw down and spray some hot lead back.  It’s now legal to carry a concealed weapon to church, so I guess the pastors and fathers of Arkansas had better look smart and not bore the congregation for sure now.

Thank heavens, it’s finally as Jesus had intended, I’m sure.

To be fair to Arkansas, it seems that they are not the first, in fact the article says there are 20 other states that allow churches to decide whether or not to allow concealed weapons.

Most of those states have “firearm blessing” services at the cloakrooms of the churches, allowing patrons to have their sidearms blessed while they themselves are attending church services.

Ok I made that last part up, but it doesn’t seem that far off now, does it?

Some days the slide into chaos seems more fun than others.  This isn’t one of those days.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? this isn’t

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Two criminals made a valiant break for freedom today in New Zealand, dashing away from the courthouse and demonstrating why they are both in jail in the first place….

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgjPICWYC9o

Note that they had lots of time to decide what to do, but decided no decision at all was best.  Good job, lads.  Future Ottawa Transit Union leadership?

It brings this gem to mind from Despair.com: