As part of her wonderful and nurturing nature, Nikki often takes the kids to the library to get some books and foster some good old reading time.  This well meaning pastime is something the kids really enjoy, and they often come home with a huge bag full of books for snuggle up story time.  As anyone who has been to our house knows, our lives are busy and sometimes, through no fault of our own (well ok it’s technically ALL our fault) the books are misplaced and don’t quite make it back to the library on time, even though you can renew them online, which is a great idea.  Anyway, for whatever reason we have at times forgotten to return a book or two.

Let’s keep in mind this is the public library, where kindly bespectacled cat-owning ladies meekly tend the stacks, shushing where appropriate, but in general these ladies are about as assertive as cooked spaghetti.  Well all that goes out the window when you might have misplaced one of their charges, they drop the facade and become hardassed book mobsters, busting kneecaps with glee.  The first hint is a strangely insistent letter listing the missing book, and ending with a chilling warning to return the book, or face greater consequences.

If you are new to this dangerous world of militant librarians, you might even ignore that letter.  That would be a mistake.  The very next thing they do, the very next thing, is to send a collection agency after you.  A collection agency.  For a $12 Robert Munsch book. Over-react much?

It’s the equivalent of a nuclear strike in response to a forgotten thank you.

Talk about touchy.

So, when I read this story about a lady who made the mistake of not returning a book and ending up in jail, I was not surprised at all….

She should count herself lucky, she could have been sporting a concrete cardigan at the bottom of the river.