Just happened across an article in the Ottawa Citizen about a report that says the ecological impact of pet ownership – specifically medium sized dogs, strangely – makes them an irresponsible choice for us humans to own. Apparently you are better off buying a Toyota Land Cruiser than owning a dog, according to the author. Which makes perfect sense, because who can resist the adorable face a Land Cruiser makes when you scratch it behind it’s ears? I’m melting right now, just thinking about it. Awww.
Still, knowing Lloyd as I do, it’s not a hard thing to imagine that dogs have an impact on the environment. I’m entirely sure that the impact of Lloyd would be far less than any one human, but then again the report said nothing about owning a dog that is the size of a Toyota Land Cruiser….
I think it’s easy to see Lloyd’s impact on the environment. Or more accurately, to hear Lloyd’s impact. The gas emitted daily by this animal would probably power a small town or hamlet for a week. The authors of this report may have a point, but then again you have to wonder about the author of an article that can seriously recommend owning a fish or hamster as an alternative to cats and dogs. They apparently will go as far as suggesting a chicken or rabbit, so long as you eat them. Um, that’s not a pet, dude. That’s living on a farm. Some real sentimental people there. “Sorry kids, but I’m hungry. Say goodbye to Fluffy now…” I’m all for the saving the world, but I think this goes a teensy bit farther than most folks are comfortable with. Jeez.
So, while Lloyd leaves a wide swath of environmental destruction (including my possessions) behind him, I will not be cooking and eating him anytime soon, even though he would probably feed us for a good long while. He is far too adorable for that, and even the hardest of hearts couldn’t stare too long into his brown eyes and not be moved.
I think I will just continue to bring my own mug to Starbucks, ride the bus and recycle my butt off to try to offset the huge steamers Lloyd produces a distressingly large number of times a day. (Although I am considering getting each one bronzed and then they can be re-used as building materials. Should have a ten foot wall from here to Montreal in no time.)
P.S. In case anyone is worried that I am forgetting Harvey because he is older, more dignified, less messy, quieter, gentler, better behaved, less slobbery, well you get the idea. Never fear, I wouldn’t forget Harv, and the only reason I can give is because Harvey has fine-tuned the doggy guilt trip. One well timed sigh-eyeroll combination is enough to send us all scurrying to shower him with love. He probably gets more attention now than before Lloyd, so never fear.