I’m having a hard time believing this one, but there’s been some coverage of this story today for some unknown reason.  Apparently the cold winter weather in the UK has prompted the Holiday Inn in London to offer “human bed warmers” as a service to clients.  Yes, for a fee you can pay for someone to get into your bed (before you are ready to turn in) dressed in “an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit”, AKA “Teletubby” to pre-warm your bed for you.  Apparently this individual will then leave the bed toasty warm for you to climb into.  Um, ick.

“The new Holiday Inn bed warmers service is a bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,”

Yes, sure, if your hot water bottle at home is a barely employable guy named Ed.  Seriously, this can’t be for real, for several reasons.

1. That’s nasty and creepy, and for many of us the embodiment of a nightmare.

2. Isn’t that why they have maids?  To avoid that hotel “I’m climbing into this bed just after a stranger got out of it” sensation?

3. For an extra $20 you can have the “Dutch extra special” where Ed eats a can of beans just before climbing between the sheets…

4. So, juust before bed, you call down and have Ed come up, scuffling his oversized fleeced feet along the carpet.  With a nod, he passes you when you open the door and climbs right into bed, pulling the blankets up to his whiskery chin.  Uncertain of what to do, you continue with your evening, climbing onto the bed beside Ed and restarting the movie.  Ed says: “Oh, I love Planes, Trains and Automobiles!  This part is hilarious…  You gonna finish those Doritos?”

Perhaps there is another angle to this I am not getting.  Anyone?

Saw this on Neatorama first.

Extra bonus:  I have had this job for 10 years now, but I have a very small clientele, just one bed actually.  We have talked about it before…

Extra extra bonus: …and now you know why no-one wants to wake up with Bed Ed.