Inexplicable wristwatch that practically screams “Don’t ever sleep with me” to the opposite sex. Not only is it shaped like a rotary-dial phone thingy, it doesn’t actually tell the time until you dial “117” and then a woman’s voice TELLS you the time.

The clever societal comment is lost on me. It’s not like a large number of people regularly used those voice-time services. The rotary dial thing was done way cooler by these guys anyway, with a much funnier in-joke, where you carry this old black phone around and answer calls on it all day.

A slight power outage after the storm in Kanata has caused a Storm outage for Vallentyne.com. Most distressing. I can’t get online to pay any bills.

I guess I should just go to bed anyway.

Later.

As Nikki will probably tell you, especially if you ask, I am a little, slightly, just ever so obsessed with the condition of my lawn. The problem is that I am very very bad at it. I suck. I would love to have a rich full lawn, but I’m challenged. Anyway, I found this essay on the web and thought I would share it. It’s called Organic Lawn Care for the Cheap and Lazy, and it spoke to me loudly in my soul. Mostly because I am both cheap and lazy, separately, but sometimes both at the same time.

Anyway, it’s very good advice and I thought I would share it with some of you other cheap and lazy folks. I plan to really think hard about starting to attempt to implement a plan to start to do some of the things he suggests. Later. And if it doesn’t cost too much.

Saw this one too late to add it to the list, but this thing is pretty amazing.

It’s an industrial-strength shredding machine. I’m not really sure who their customers are, but apparently this thing can shred anything. It’s a juvenile delight to watch some of the stuff they throw at this thing. Anything from cans to cars get reduced to ribbons of metal.

way cool.

Some of the newer things to come across my desk, all ripped off from various smarter blogs than this one.

First we have a car lighter-powered toaster oven, for those times when you absolutely must have hot food while driving. I can’t see a downside to 450 degree pizza pockets at 120 km/h can you? It really brings that whole unhealthy lifestyle/no exercise/bad diet thing to a neat vicious circle, doesn’t it?

Further along in the “absolutely no exercise at any cost” train of thought it this: a Robot lawn mower. This isn’t that difficult to imagine having, really. It would create a really interesting sort of hybrid lawn over time, though. I mean the thing never stops mowing, basically. Each blade of grass would only have like a couple of hours to grow before it grew too high again. I wonder what kind of super-weeds would develop on that lawn? Weeds that learn to grow up the side of the house or something, out of the reach of the mower.

Then, thinking ahead to colder times as all Canadians do when it’s 40C outside, we have the V8 Snow Blower. Yep, forget about the price of gas for a second and just think how far you could blow that damn ice bunker at the end of your laneway. I mean you could probably deposit it neatly 500m away, maybe in the middle of the closest intersection. It also comes with the manly goodness of a large motor, that undoubtedly sounds wonderful when revved up to 4000 or 5000 rpms. Perfect for those whisper-quiet frosty mornings when the crystalline air hangs still and your nose hairs freeze together. I’m sure the neighbours won’t mind it one bit when you fire up your big-block V8 to clear the laneway at 6am.

Which brings us to the Balloon Bazooka. This is an air-powered behemoth that can launch a water balloon up to 500 feet. It sort of takes the whole “fun” aspect out of a water fight, doesn’t it? I mean forget the infantry tactics, flanking, charging, etc. your $25 SuperSoaker isn’t going to matter much if the enemy is raining water balloons on your head from that far away. Check out the videos of this thing, it’s ridiculous. At that speed a water balloon would really really hurt. Nothing like good old rednecked fun.

(Very) Small sense of accomplishment here, this is the blog’s 500th post. If you look you can see that the archives go back to January 2003, which means that this thing has been around about 2 1/2 years. That’s a little less than a post every 2 days. Which we all know is a crock of complete and utter crap since days and week go by sometimes without a single entry here.

But, that’s what you get when most of you still haven’t sent in your subscription cheque to Mundane Ramblings. For shame.