I just love this.
Well would you look at that, officer. I am just BAFFLED as to how these 59 dope plants got into my garden. Shocked, I tell you. Um, ya.
Category Archives: News
Men really are thinking of only one thing, if I could just remember what it was…
It should come as no surprise to anyone, but it’s now SCIENTIFICALLY proven that men become stupider after talking to attractive women, while women remain unaffected while talking to attractive men. Completely obvious, and it explains why I can’t get anything done while Nikki is in the room.
Obligatory Cute Animal Pictures
Since my brain is good for nothing today but riding around in my skull, awash in echoes of last night’s Stompin’ Tom show (which was awesome), I will unleash the following cuteness tsunami on you.
First, the dwarf miniature pony is the logical answer to the purse dog. Standing about the size of the average cat, this is a frigging small horse. Suitable for domestic work such as plowing your kids sandbox, and jumping over entire juice boxes. More good pictures at that link.
Next up we have a couple of pictures from National Geographic Magazine (which has incredibly good pictures) one of which has been making the rounds on the interwebs. It’s an accidentally hilarious shot of an inquisitive squirrel hogging all of the attention. They had set their camera up for a timed shot of themselves and nosy-pants decided to get in on the action. Friggin prima donna….
I love this one of a bear fishing, it looks exactly like a guy in a fur suit with a comically over-sized head.
I wouldn’t mention that to the bear’s face mind you.
There you go, that should keep you til Monday.
Step Away from the Yoga Mat, carefully
Dear Sir,
Your shorts are way way too fricking short. Those things are one downward dog away from a felony, and we all think you need to go and spend another $5 at Walmart. (That’s not even snark, read the article for yourself). Actually, I will send you $5 myself, and sleep the rest of the just for making the world a better place. If you prefer, I will ship you (priority post) some new shorts straight from the Montreal Wal-Mart that you so prize, but ones that actually cover your pelvic bone, as shorts were meant to do. The mere thought of these shorts performing any number of yoga poses is terrifying, to say the least. Some especially scary ones (the world might actually end if you do the last one):
Yes, there are lots of fashion transgressions at the gym, that’s just the way things go, but sir, two wrongs don’t make a right, and you have two wrongs dangerously close to swinging free there and that just won’t do. Yoga is meant to be relaxing and calming, and I’m taking a wild leap here when I say that I imagine your students are more than a little on edge wondering when something in there might make a salutation of it’s own. Please do everyone a favour and buy yourself some shorts. In a pinch, I think we all would settle for really long socks that you could fasten to the bottom of your existing shorts with duct tape. It might be rather fetching, accenting those shiny metallic monstrosities.
Thank you,
Everyone else on Earth.
I wish I was making this up, but it seems to be far too real.
My wife and I live apart, but she wants a baby
This title came across my feed reader today, and for some morbid reason I clicked it. It’s an advice column at the Globe and Mail, and man is it good.
Here’s the question, amazing as it is, and the columnist answers it in awesome sarcastic fashion.
My wife and I have been in a long-distance relationship that began shortly before the marriage, and has lasted for six years. She moves from one job to another in different countries. Both of us work in very specialized professions, which we can only practise from our respective locations. I cannot ask her to quit her profession, and I don’t want to quit mine.
We see each other about once a year for maybe a week or two, but maintain a weekly phone call.
Recently she has been talking having children. And because we really don’t have the time to be together, she wants to go through IVF. She plans to take a year off as maternity leave, and then go to work in Nairobi for two years. And God knows where else after that.
I have always encouraged her to pursue what she wanted. However, I have been asking myself if there is any point in maintaining this relationship. Am I being selfish to think we should separate?
You really need to read this.
Sunshine Happy Fun Time?
You know how in the winter, usually sometime around the end of January your body finally squeezes the last tiny bit of Vitamin D from the tube on the shelf, swigs down the last drop of seratonin and says; yep guess what, you now feel like crap because there is no hope and you are living in a hole into which no light and warmth shall ever enter, despair and tremble? Yeah, well normally that happens only in January when we are locked into the deep freeze, but this year we are unusually fortunate to be able to experience that twice.
This summer seems to be incredibly wet and dreary, The Weather Network confirms that we have had 20mm more rain since July 1 than we normally get for the whole month, and twice as much rain as we had last year in the same period. You only have to look at the forecast to know it’s not going to get much better.
So, instead of a frozen benighted popsicle landscape we get to experience the soggy dripping mugginess of a good old English summer. It’s as if the whole city is parked in a car wash with the windows down, chugging bottled water, while wearing jeans with a running garden hose stuffed into the pocket. I’m not one to let my environment affect my mood, but this is getting a little ridiculous. My fingers are wrinkled all of the time here people.
Does anyone remember what the sun looks like?
** Update:
Ok, so I may have been bitching a bit more than necessary, and my mood has been improved tremendously by this weekend’s sunny weather. I will say that this post was slightly prescient given the tremendous rainstorm we got on Friday. Here’s a rainy shot of the intersection near my house on Friday. Needless to say, folks were avoiding the geyser…
No more weather talk, I promise!