Category Archives: News

Talk about making it easy

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Talk about making it easy on me, this one needs no embellishment at all.

Some Star Wars nerds are already lining up to see the new movie. It doesn’t open until May 19th, though. They are camping out in what can only be described as a flagrant disregard for ever getting laid in their entire lifetime. This is news worthy, and they deserve to be mocked. What is incredible however, is they are camped out at a theatre waiting for a movie that isn’t actually opening at that theatre. Apparently it is some sort of pathetic attempt to get the movie studios to change their minds and business plans about their decision to open the movie at a newer theatre some few blocks away. So, it is almost a certainty that they will live outdoors for 45 days and still not get the “priviledge” of being one of the first to see this movie.
Stunning.
It easily brings to mind the absolutely side-splitting bit from Triumph the Wonderdog from the last movie opening.

Anyway, I’m sure that the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus will all make sure to give each and every one of these poor souls something they are sure to cherish.

To use what may be

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To use what may be the biggest oxymoron ever; Holy Evolution Batman!

It looks like mother nature is taking steps to purge humans from the Earth, by any means necessary. First, the discovery that octopi are capable of walking on two legs. Check out the video on that site for what must be the funniest sign of humanity’s impending doom I have ever seen. I can’t help but imagine that octopus is thinking “whoa! diver over there, I don’t think he’s seen me, just act casual, be cool, it’s cool, nothing unusual to see, no plans for your apocalyptic demise…”

And then as if that wasn’t enough, we have proof of mother nature’s army in training: vampire bats that can run on the ground as easily as they can fly. Man, that’s just enough to give me the chills. Imagine, an army of vampire bats running people down in the streets, the mass panic as tiny, bloodsucking, winged mice carpet the landscape.

If these two events aren’t enough to spark worldwide panic, I don’t know what could. Unless you also happened to notice this story about a catfish that will receive the medal for “Exceptional Stupidity In Its Species”. Yep, this fella apparently attempted to eat a basketball whole and it got stuck in his mouth. Somebody had to cut it out to “save his life”. So, I think we can rest a little easier tonight knowing that mother nature has some morons on her team, too.

Wilson sent around a link

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Wilson sent around a link a few days ago to The Meatrix , which is a pretty funny send up on The Matrix. As he says it has a good message too, about the dangers of industrial farming. It is probably a little too real to think about, but really where the heck did I think all that meat came from? I mean come on.

Anyway, not to completely steal Wilson’s thunder without giving a little something back, I found this link. It’s a scientific report on the benefits of drinking beer if you also eat your meat well done. Apparently the beer works to counteract the bad stuff you get when you over cook meat, dramatically reducing the bad stuff in fact. So, there you go, yet another reason that God must love us because not only did he give us beer and meat, he made beer completely useful and meat plentiful, too.

Here’s a very nerdy but

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Here’s a very nerdy but interesting writeup on “13 Things That Don’t Make Sense“. It’s a scientific look at some things in our world that can’t be explained by conventional methods. It’s a really good read, most of it has to do with the solar system and physics, but still it sort of makes you think. Remember I said it was nerdy…

Another post in the criminal

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Another post in the criminal vein, this time about pirating movies on the internet versus just stealing a DVD. Apparently somebody has done some basic comparison (which is probably done without a shred of legal counsel or referral, by the way) on the penalties of those two crimes.

  Stealing Infringing
Absolute
Minimum		 $0
no jail		 $4,400
Absolute
Maximum		 $100,000
1 year jail		 $3,400,000
1 year jail
lawyer fees and costs
Real World
Example		 Winona Ryder*:
$2,700 fine
$6,355 restitution
$1,000 court cost
3 years probation		 An Average RIAA settlement**:
$14,875

***Reprinted from Boing Boing without permission, as usual.

That’s pretty interesting stuff, and it really makes no sense in my brain. For one thing, why is stealing a digital version from the internet so much worse? In fact the penalty is potentially over 30 times worse. Do the studios lose more from a single download than a single DVD? Unlikely, you could steal a DVD and put it on the internet in a snap. Anyway, fun stuff, maybe some judge will realize this someday. I wouldn’t count on it, but maybe.