I have another couple of completely obvious, absolutely normal products whose development I consider basically inevitable and obvious.

First off, not much of a product really, but in case you suddenly find yourself disgustingly rich, there is something you can do to fix that. Someone has taken great care to develop one of the most exclusive communities in the world, or so it would seem to me. It’s a group of 300 private islands arranged to imitate the map of the world. For enough money you can buy your own island and live on what looks like your own continent. As the Boing Boing post says, it’s a supervillain lair if I ever saw one. Being the complete nerd I am, I can’t help but think of the absolutely excellent game of full-scale Risk you could have on this place.

And secondly, I can’t think of a better innovation on the boring old band-aid than this. Yes, that’s Bacon Band Aids people, and I think that’s brilliant. Nothing says “heal my gaping wound” more than raw meat. It’s a natural fit with the maggot healing we spoke about recently, isn’t it? I mean, peel back the raw bacon and there you have: live maggots. Perfectly normal.

Come on now, these are all things we need, and you can’t tell me it’s another sign that we are really losing it. Well, you can but I can’t promise I’m listening.

Late to the posting party I am, too busy busy busy.

But, that means instead of posting just any old drivel because I have the time, I can pick just the good stuff. Or slightly better than the normal stuff. Anyway, you be the judge.

Apparently The White House was elevated to the highest level of alert on Friday due to a fast moving airborne object. Yep, they moved the Dubya to the super duper secret bunker underneath The White House and the whole place was crawling with armed folks. They dispatched a Black Hawk helicopter to go and challenge the object, and raised the anti-aircraft guns on the roof of the White House to prepare to fire. The only problem was, it was an itty bitty rain cloud. Yes, Chicken Little, the sky is falling.

Only Dubya, let me tell you.

Well, now this is obviously a sign of our impending doom.

Apparently there is a certain pond in Hamburg, Germany now known as the “pond of death”. Ooohhh. Scary. Anyway, apparently the toads that live in this pond are subject to an unfortunate habit, they apparently swell in size, monstrously large, and then explode violently. It’s sure not much fun for the toads, that is clear. The local authorities have posted a biologist there during the “witching hour” of 2-3am, where toad explosions reach their peak frequency. During this hour, the sound of toads exploding echoes around the pond, sounding much like fireworks or gunfire, or popcorn in the microwave, or a 9 year old with bubblewrap, or…. well you get the idea.

This horrific mystery was unexplained until someone apparently discovered that crows were pecking at the toads and poking holes in them. They were inflating themselves in their normal defense way, and apparently they couldn’t stop inflating themselves because the crows had perforated their lungs… and that’s about the end of them.

Certainly toads that spontaneously explode are a harbinger of our fate on this planet, but I guess this rather mundane explanation means that our catastrophic end at the hands of mother nature has to wait for a little longer. Yes, I imagine that my last sight will be Wilson’s smug face nodding at me as the walking octopi, running bats, and exploding toads slowly encircle me.

Nice rant, Wilson.

It gives the blog a nice sense of respectability to have an honest opinion presented here, instead of my silly stuff.

In response to your concerns, I think you can take solace in the fact that not only are most people gullible and easily led, they are also equally unlikely to actually do anything about it. So, the net effect of the exposure to anti-environmental attitudes is basically nil. They are not any more likely to act in an environmental way, but they also aren’t very likely to go and buy a jet truck either.

Still, on a principle-of-the-matter level, I wholly agree with you. The media should be more responsible.

We’ve mentioned this before…

Once again, thanks to Boing Boing for this tip, it’s another good point on that finger in the chili incident. It’s no surprise that Wendy’s scrambled a whole team of people to keep the spin happening on this and to try to put the whole thing to bed. The article goes into deep detail on how much this story has hurt Wendy’s business, (oh, I’m sorry about this one) cutting it by double digits.

Will I never get tired of those finger puns? I’m not even that good at them…