Category Archives: News

Squicky Surgery

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This is a post that is more or less giving me the heebie jeebies, so click with care.

First off we have the latest trend in cosmetic surgery which is eyelash transplant surgery (click on that one, it’s just CNN). The whole idea is to give women thicker eyelashes and make them look more beautiful. The actual procedure is as follows:

“a small incision is made at the back of the scalp to remove 30 or 40 hair follicles which are carefully sewn one by one onto the patient’s eyelids. Only light sedation and local anesthetics are used and the cost is around $3,000 an eye”

If that’s not enough to scare you off, then the article goes on to say that the surgery is not for everybody, since if your hair is too curly that doesn’t make good eyelashes, and the worst part is that your eyelashes keep growing just like the hair on your head. That’s a bit gross, and anyway it would be weird (and I dare say, dangerous) having to constantly trim your eyelashes.

Then we have a much more disgusting surgery, if it’s real and not a hoax. A Wired article is all I will link to, they have the original link as well, but it still has a pretty gross picture so take care. The story is that a man in Spain showed up at a hospital with his own severed arm which he had lost in a sewer somehow. Rather than re-attach the arm where it belonged and have to fight the infections from the sewer water, they attached it to his groin until they had his arm stump clear of infection. Nine days later they apparently reattached his arm where it belongs. Crazy. This reminds me of another story I wrote about a while back, ahem.

If Humans Vanished Tomorrow….

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More article regurgitation today, a bit on how long the traces of our incredibly advanced civilization would last if we all disappeared tomorrow.  The short answer: not too long.  For the long answer click the link, or for the medium answer, a graphic that displays exactly the same information as the article.  Interesting stuff.  Basically we would not even be a blip on the radar after about 50 000 years.  With the exception of course of Harvey’s pee-burned grass art installation on my lawn.  There’s no way that 50 000 years of wild natural reclamation is going to eradicate those things.  They are permanent in a way that makes the pyramids look flimsy.

10 Foot Tall Dope Plants stump troops

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An article this morning from Reuters, Canadian troops in Afghanistan are having trouble rooting out Taliban militants from a huge forest of 10 foot tall marijuana plants.  It is resistant to thermal imaging and incredibly dense and so is proving difficult to successfully navigate safely.  In a turn that came from a plot-line on Trailer Park Boys, the military even tried to burn the marijuana forest, but the, ah, down wind troops (one pictures hasty “Stripes”-like maneuvers of all the troops in the area to be suddenly down wind from this operation) experienced some “ill effects”.  Well duh.  It’s amazing that this killer Afghan weed is so potent it doesn’t actually burn very well.

“We tried burning them with white phosphorous — it didn’t work. We tried burning them with diesel — it didn’t work. The plants are so full of water right now … that we simply couldn’t burn them.” General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said Thursday.

Man, that’s some sweet dope, eh?  Not only can you smoke it, but you can hide your whole army in it.  It’s impervious to fire, thermal imaging, is there anything marijuana can’t do?  We should plant vast acres of this stuff in Canada, just in case we get invaded at some point.  Oh, we actually probably have already done that here and there.

Comrade, pour me another

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Russian officials have decided that enough is enough, and they have announced last call for Latvians.  Russian customs officers have discovered a mile-long vodka pipeline across the border to Latvia.  Smugglers (or brilliant entrepreneurs as I like to call these guys) managed to lay this pipe 6 feet underground somehow unnoticed.  It would still be unnoticed if someone hadn’t had the bright idea of planting some trees.  Just how do you go about digging a six foot trench across international borders and not get noticed, anyway?  Then again, this is Canada, and you could probably export Saskatchewan to the U.S. without anybody noticing for a few days at least (that’s not to slight Saskatchewaners, but rather is meant to describe just how undefended our border is.  At least for now.)

Yes, I realize that the last three (!) posts have been about alcohol, and yes, I am seeking counseling about my alcoblogism(tm).  Really, it’s just a strange coincidence.  Really.

I don’t like the sound of this.

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I think I can speak for my liver when I say oh freaking crap.  Four percent of the U.S. hops crop burns in a warehouse fire.  That ain’t good, people.  What will that do to the price of your favourite swill?  Nobody can tell yet.  Then again, who cares?  This is the American hop supply, not the Canadian one, right?  Right?

That’s two alcohol-related posts in like 5 hours, you might start to wonder what’s really on my mind, I know I am.

‘Tis a Pirate life for me

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If you like Talk Like a Pirate day, which is tomorrow, then why not live like a pirate all of the time?

I can’t believe how so completely totally awesomely this pirate playhouse rocks.

Pirate Playhouse

For a mere $19000USD you can own this sucker, but you will have to do some “site preparation” yourself, like pouring a concrete slab with footers to support the weight of this thing. I can’t imagine a cooler thing to have as a kid though. If you are the child of an independently wealthy and successful pirate who now lives in the burbs, that is.
The funniest part of the whole thing is you can buy this thing from Costco, which lists all of the stuff you have to do to receive the thing (concrete slab poured, have a crane or forklift handy when the 18 wheeler rolls in, etc), but then goes on to say that you can return it at any of their 400 locations. Yeah, right.

I found the manufacturers website and it’s just incredible the range of tree houses they offer. I wish I was a kid with lots of money….