Category Archives: News

The birds and the bees, and the spiders and the pandas

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I thought I would finally get around to writing this post, I know you kids have been waiting for it eagerly. Today I’m going to give you everything you need to know about the facts of life. You know, sex and babies and stuff. It’s a little late for me and some of you, but better late than never. Now follow along, here we go…

First we have courtship, the timeless dance of the sexes. Flirting with someone you hope to get busy with (as Nikki knows only too well) is certainly something I never really mastered. Fortunately for you, you need only look to nature to see just how to woo like Van Morrison. For example, nothing says “I think you’re special” better than a goofy honking, stomping dance followed by some serious beak fencing. Go and check it out, it’s the first video on this page. There are some other cool videos there too, be sure to watch the giant tortoises measure each other up.

According to that site, this is how these unfortunate birds (Waved Albatrosses, apparently) identify each other after a year of abstinence and absence. In fact (and here’s an amusing anecdote) this is exactly what I did for Nikki when I returned from my little jaunt in Australia. Did it work? Well, I think we all know the answer to that question.

Of course it didn’t, don’t be ridiculous.

But my next example is a sure-fire way to win your gal’s heart. The Jumping Spider is a CasaNova of the highest calibre, his musical innuendo renders the girls powerless. Check it out, be sure to turn on the sound to hear his sweet beats.

Via: VideoSift

Now that’s a stupendous ode to “gettin it on” if I ever heard one. This guy has style, class, way too many legs, and musical talent to boot. So that’s really the secret, fellas. Musical talent. Too bad for me I have none, but lucky for me Nikki is tone deaf.

Finally, the natural conclusion to all of this action is of course: babies. You should have a gander at this page that shows the progression of pandas as they grow from disgusting eyeless hairy slugs with mouths to much, much cuter things, cuteness so intense it gives you an ice cream headache. I mean, just look at it.

Aww.

Awwwwwwww.

Ouch, that hurt.

So there you go folks. You are welcome, now go and get your respective freaks on, and procreate.

btw, I stole this stuff from Boing Boing, Metafilter and Neatorama.

Terrorism Doesn’t Work

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I read a very good article on Wired the other day about the way our brains interpret acts of terrorism and how the more hideous and terrible the act of terrorism is, the less likely the terrorists are to get their way, however modest their goals actually are.  It’s a decent read without being to scientific, here’s the gist:

 “In other words, terrorism doesn’t work, because it makes people less likely to acquiesce to the terrorists’ demands, no matter how limited they might be. The reaction to terrorism has an effect completely opposite to what the terrorists want; people simply don’t believe those limited demands are the actual demands. “

People are less likely to believe that terrorists will really be appeased if their demands are met if the terrorists do something horrendous to the population at large (e.g. 9/11).  I think that this whole idea probably rings true for most of us, really.

Viral Hamster

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Jaysus, this thing is making the rounds today.

As Nikki very correctly points out, this critter ain’t a chipmunk, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying a little taste of a rodent clearly inspired by William Shatner.

Seriously False Eyelashes, or eyebrow covers

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Just when you think things are weird enough, they get a lot weirder.

Remember when I noted that apparently there is a demand for eyelash transplants for those who insist on longer, thicker eyelashes, even at the cost of having to trim them like the hair on your head? Well it seems that the inevitable and logical end to this trend is here: extraordinarily long false eyelashes are the rage in Japan. I mean really long. Like fur.

Man that’s weird.

I saw this on Table of Malcontents a little while ago, and stole the picture from there too…..

Cheers for High School Diplomas

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I caught this article in the New York Times this morning about a high school in Illinois that made parents and students sign a contract stating that they would act in a dignified way at the graduation ceremony.  The families and friends of 5 students apparently violated that contract at the grad ceremony and the students were thereby denied receiving a copy of their diploma.

Am I the only one to think this school has the “Suck” cranked to 10?   These guys are really taking it a little far.  Apparently the reason for the contract was a disruption at the ceremony two years ago.  I agree that air horns (I’m not kidding, read the article) are probably not appropriate in the school gym, but really guys it’s a little harsh to force these kids to do 8 hours of communuty service just to get their diplomas now.  For crying out loud, they didn’t spraypaint the rink, or vandalize the cemetary, they graduated high school.  It’s treating them like criminals.  There must be better ways of ensuring that the ceremony isn’t unduly disrupted by anyone without taking it out on the kids.

A choice quote from one of the students:

“It’s not fair. Somebody could not like me and just decide to yell to get me in trouble. I can’t control everyone, just the ones I gave tickets to.”

I’m biased as a parent, but I can’t imagine anyone not whooping a little when their kid graduates high school.  Way to really suck the fun out of a monumental moment in a kid’s life, guys.