Category Archives: News

Winnipeg’s Ice “Rink”

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Oh man, this is just too much. Are they actively TRYING to tick me off? Winnipeg, you really don’t want to take us on, do you?

After we scoffed at Mexico City’s feeble attempts at a World Record in a skating conga line, then comes along the pretender. Winnipeg, with it’s barely discernible icy sidewalk, lamely tries to say they have the longest skating rink in the world. Well sure, if you happen to be skating on one leg, or are actually two dimensional, or have the body of an Olsen twin, since this thing is more like skating on an icy 2×4 than a real rink.

Now, Winnipeg appears to be ticking off everybody by staging a conga line, huh just like Mexico City did, only they were strung out along that ridiculous skating path. It’s go time, people. What are the NCC or the Winterlude people going to do about this? It’s an outrage. We should get our crap together and pound Winnipeg into oblivion (well, skating-conga-line oblivion). With a little organization Ottawa could make these two cities whimper for skate mercy.

Is anybody else outraged about this sham of a publicity stunt?

Left foot, check. Right foot… crap not again.

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Talk about your strange occurrences.  Three right feet have washed ashore in B.C. in the last 6 months on three separate islands within 60km of each other, which is, you know, like a hop, skip and a jump.

Without leaping to any further conclusions, I would say the previous owners of the feet are probably sorry they left them behind.  Probably hopping mad by now.  If I were them, I would get out of the yard (think about it) and get right down there and claim my soggy foot by the fastest means possible, say, three legged race?  I mean, there’s no sense waiting to see what might happen, you know, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Saw the whole thing on Metafilter, and am pun-ishing you with it now.

Children in Tight Spots

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Well things like this are bound to happen eventually with two young boys.  Yesterday Quinn and Cael were leaving karate at the Kanata Rec Centre with Nikki and they were goofing off and went around the corner to the elevator.  Nikki was putting her coat on and had her back turned, so they managed to get the doors open and they went in.  When the doors started to close Quinn put his hand in between them and got pinched pretty hard.  The doors weren’t opening back up again and Nikki was trying to tell Quinn to push all of the buttons, but he was crying too hard.  Needless to say the doors finally opened and Nikki rescued the two (now very subdued) boys.  All is well, he is just a little bit bruised, but they probably will always remember when they got stuck in an elevator.  It’s these little lessons that will define their actions later.  Nikki asked Quinn what the lesson was that he learned and he tearfully said “To wait.”  Not a bad thing to remember, generally.

On that same note, here’s a story about a lad who is very likely in the same boat, but maybe to larger degree.  A four year old boy crawled into his parent’s washing machine and managed to get wedged in between the agitator and the side with one knee jammed against his chest.  All efforts to free him failed, including firefighters taking the washer apart.  So, out come the jaws of life to cut the washer apart and free the boy.  He was fine, but I don’t think the washer was the same after that one.

Ricky and Julian on Parliament Hill

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Looks like the boys are hobnobbing with some high-powered fans. Or are those ministers the ones who are trying to get closer to the Trailer Park Boys? Nice to see the lads weren’t deprived of a few drinks while talking with the suits. Julian with a beer though…?

I must say in that picture it looks like Ricky is an aspiring member of J-Roc’s crew, much more so than his usual Reveen look.

Ricky and Julian and some other guy

Nice tip from my Mom. Thanks Mom!

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s Cheaper

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Strap on your tinfoil hats and fire up your conspiracy theories because it looks like the “obesity epidemic” is actually a government plot to save money on health care. A new study finds that contrary to what I, and lots of other people thought; a thin non-smoker actually costs the health care system more than an obese person, or a smoker. The main reason is the smokin’ fatties die sooner, of course. Clean living folks survive long enough to get really expensive diseases it seems, and it’s dragging down the health care system, dammit.

So comrade, it seems that the socially responsible thing to do would be to turn off that damn treadmill and grab yourself a hoagie. You are nothing less than an enemy of the state if you don’t. Give me a light while you’re at it. You are helping your country, if not yourself. Tomorrow there will be a rally of puffing plump patriots marching (well actually more like a slow saunter) on Parliament Hill holding signs that say something, if we could only read them through the drifting haze of aerosolized cheese and smoke. The signs are a little heavy, they must have used real cardboard since most of them can’t seem to hold them up for very long. They are chanting too, but it’s a little breathy and too low to make out what it is. It’s a powerful display of sloth and fury.

Join us! It’s for the greater good, after all.

Planes, Brains? and Automobiles

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Wilson sends the goods again, this time with a link to a story about a runway on a tiny island in the French West Indies.  The picture says it all, really.  It looks incredibly photoshopped but apparently is real enough.  I can’t imagine waiting around on that road for planes to land, but maybe it’s a local bravado thing.

I shouldn’t send this kind of thing around where Nikki will see it since she is a, um, rather tentative flyer.  I barely got her on the plane for our honeymoon, she drugs herself silly just to get to the airport.  One day when we are able to I want to do more travelling with her and with the kids, maybe not to this place though.