This is another non-post of someone else’s content, but my god, The Onion.
New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering Of Smaller Breasts
That’s serious frigging gold, people. Set down any liquids, do not sip anything while reading.
Category Archives: News
Ah, Darwin? Table for two.
Sweet gentle Jesus.
Some thoughts:
- Pay no mind to this simian’s lack of underwear, that is probably the least disturbing thing about the picture, and that fact alone will wreck you for at least 3 hours.
- This chimpanzee has no hair.
- He seems lost in thought. Probably wondering if he should wear a belt.
- It’s a chimpanzee. WTF?
- It’s not an ad for a razor, (I don’t think).
- As a Flickr commenter noted, he could use some moisturizer, his elbows look a little dry.
- Cover up his head, and it’s your creepy old Uncle whoever, or that guy in the locker room who just won’t wear a damn towel.
- Some random Boing Boing comments:
- That picture is one application of clown makeup away from the perfect nightmare fuel.
- Anyone who doubts evolution needs to see this photo.
- Great, another ape with less body hair than me.
Saw it on the Boing, had to share it immediately. It’s the most amazing, strange, disturbing, memorable, thought provoking picture I have seen in a while.
Here Comes the Gravy
Man, it must be hard to be a Billy Bob.
In case you haven’t been following this, Billy Bob Thornton and his band the Boxmasters made an appearance on a CBC radio show (inexplicably also filmed and available on YouTube, below) recently. Good old Billy Bob (can I call you Billy? or maybe Jerk?) took offense when the radio host mentioned that he is an actor too. Imagine that, he’s also an actor. Anyway, what followed was the strangest interview I have ever seen, and it amounted to a hissy fit of epic proportions. This man is off his rocker if he thinks his little band would be going anywhere if he wasn’t also globally known as an actor. His star power is opening doors for his music career, and then he pitches a fit when someone mentions that he’s an actor? It’s crazy. And no, Billy, you are not Tom Petty, that much is clear. Tom has been a legendary musician and recording for over 30 years, while you got bored with acting and started a vanity band a couple of years back. Also, from all accounts, Tom is a nice person.
Good times, and despite his recent apology to all of Canada, it seems that Billy can’t take the heat and is packing up his crap and leaving town, with his tour unfinished. Yep, that sure seems like what a professional musician would do. Good job.
You can’t have it both ways buddy.
Here’s Billy Bob making a fool of himself for everyone to see. It’s a credit to the host that he handled himself as coolly as he did to that pathetic display.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6qyy7bw
Don’t Beg! Well, alright I guess it’s ok.
It seems that if you run an airport and you just put in a new baggage handling system, you definitely don’t want to test it with real baggage. No sir. That looks like a job for 12 tons of dog food. That’s just what officials in Seattle did, and now they have a warehouse full of dog food they didn’t know what to do with. So they scratched their heads and thought about it for a while and then somebody said “Hey dogs would probably eat this stuff, they eat anything!” and so then they tried to drop off 12 tons of food at a local animal shelter. That didn’t go too well, the shelter said “No!” and rapped them on the nose with a rolled up paper.
So they did the only logical thing and donated the dog food to a local PERSONS food bank. It’s hard to turn off the sarcastic voice I usually write in, but I guess this really is the best thing to do, if you are looking for a handout for yourself, it’s rather likely that your four legged friend is probably a tad hungry too. Nice job, folks.
The best quote of the article goes to a city commissioner:
“Coming into an election season,” Commissioner John Creighton said, “I think it’s a pity that dogs resident in King County can’t vote.”
This guy is soo going to get his butt sniffed the next time he’s at the park.
Signal Test
There have been no blog posts here. I blame work for being just too work-y. No apologies, just more of a transmission test.
In keeping with my last post about what the Internet is for, it most definitely is for pictures of cats. I don’t know why, it just is, even if I don’t really subscribe to that myself.
Here is Satan’s cat, if he ever had one. Be sure to check out the slideshow and video there, that’s one butt-ugly cat.
Alternatively, this rat is Pixar-cute and if you spend enough time on the Internet you know that’s how things work. That’s what the Internet can do, it can find you a rat that is 10x cuter than a given cat.
That will be all for today. Real blog posts will resume at some point I assure you, dear reader.
National Do Not Call List “Worked Until Today”, telephone survey finds
A new survey finds that the National Do Not Call (DNCL) list was mostly effective at reducing the number of calls received by participants, at least until the survey was taken.
“Yep, we’ve had hardly any telemarketers call here since we signed up, until today when you jerks called.” was the most common response by participants, followed closely at number 2 by a terse “not interested”, incoherent screaming, and “can I have YOUR number so I can call YOU during YOUR dinner? CAN I?” rounding out the top four responses. The survey was not considered a success by the government panel responsible for the results, so they are considering the creation of a new national list for people to register in: the National Do Not Call Except For Us Cause That’s Ok (DNCLEFUCTOK). Citizens who register in the new list will automatically receive a call from the government to confirm their registration, followed by periodic telephone number checks each and every month, sometime around the time when you finally sit down with your dinner and raise the first goddamn bite to your lips.
Time will tell how successful the new DNCLEFUCTOK will be.