Category Archives: News

Stupid-Pourri

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Some days the blog content just falls into place, like today.

First we have the story of a guy who was driving his car on the 401, speeding, and watching a porno at the same time.  No word on whether he was using his turn signals or not.  He’s down one hand on the wheel by my count.  Darwin Award wannabe I guess.

Then my personal favourite; a grandmother out for a little drive with her grandkids and decided to stop by the casino for a spell.  Hm, these kids can’t come inside, so let’s just leave them outside in the car (aged 2 and 14).  Sure, that’s the thing to do.  Needless to say, grandma got sentenced to 14 months of house arrest, which means that the 14 year old now has to sneak into the casino to play grandma’s slots for her.  These slot machines don’t play themselves, dammit.

This brings to mind the following graphic, which I stole from the Discovery Magazine blog, Bad Astronomy.  Rather fitting, isn’t it?

the stupid, it burns

Mountain Lion vs Chainsaw

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Here’s a hint, never pick a fight when you are out-gunned at the beginning.  It seems that a sick and hungry mountain lion picked the wrong ex-marine to munch on.  The bad news for the mountain lion was that the marine happened to be cutting firewood at the time.  He cut the beast on the shoulder and it ran off, later to be hunted down by park rangers.

As for the marine, this guy calmly went back to his pop-up trailer and spent the night in the bush with his family.  Hard core, I must say.  If I had to fight off a huge predator with a chainsaw I might be less inclined to spend the night myself, but I am not an ex-marine, clearly.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go and wrestle the foil off the top of my yogurt container.

Morsel-sized dog almost eaten, then rescued

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A delicious chihuahua puppy was almost eaten this past weekend in Kentucky at a family barbecue.  The plump, juicy young puppy accidentally got covered in delicious mesquite BBQ sauce, then mistakenly liberally sprinkled with salt and pepper, and coincidentally wrapped in foil (shiny side in) before getting in the way of a flying utensil and fortunately stopping the fork with it’s head.  Truth be told, it only narrowly averted getting munched in the meat eating frenzy by running away and hiding in the bush for a few days until the coast was clear, and the last of the hot dogs and burgers was consumed.

Then the family took the dog to the vet to get the huge fork removed from his head.  Strangely, the dog will be just fine, or it should at least survive until the next barbecue…

forkdog

Ok, so the family says the fork thing was an accident, maybe I might have taken some dramatic liberties with the facts.

Seriously, glad the dog is ok, but that’s weird one.

Hide and Seek

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I like this one from Pennsylvania: a family game of hide and seek results in the parents calling the police to help them find their toddler.  I predict an exciting young adulthood for this family when their 2 year old can cause that kind of trouble.

The best part of the whole story?  Even the cops and fire department couldn’t find the kid, it was the family dog that ratted her out, sleeping under the washing machine.  Awesome.

I can say that Lloyd’s nose is easily three times as sensitive as Harvey’s, he can smell when my brain neurons start considering making my body go and get him a treat before it even happens.  A snoring two year old under a washing machine?  Not even a challenge.

Naked Dental Appointment

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It seems that a man in Connecticut (a state so confused it’s very name is an oxymoron) decided to show up at his dental appointment ready to go, with the exception of his clothes. After the receptionist screamed (really?) he ran away, apparently back home where he tried to pretend he was asleep at home the whole time.  Um ya.

I tried to come up with an appropriate dental related pun here, and the best I could do was something about “filling a cavity”, or “trust me, this won’t hurt a bit”, or possibly something to do with drilling (wink wink, nudge nudge), which didn’t seem appropriate for the family blog.  Any suggestions?

I myself have a dental appointment on Monday that I’m not looking forward to, although I’m thinking that being naked isn’t going to make it any more fun.

She’s just Married to a spy…

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It seems that the wife of Britain’s new spy chief may have skipped class the day they taught “keep a low profile” at spy school.  Assuming you can even be married to a spy like that and not be a spy yourself.  If she is a spy, then perhaps she should consider retiring.

Or just maybe this is all part of a plot so fiendishly complicated and convoluted, it’s diabolical in it’s intricacy, a tasty nugget of intrigue, wrapped in a mystery, baked and smothered in secret sauce, the implications of which could shake the very foundations of the free world to it’s core….

Or maybe she just wasn’t thinking about her hubby’s stupid job, and wanted to post some pictures of her kids on Facebook.

Yeah, it’s probably the second thing.

Still, it’s fun stuff.  Wonder how many “double 0” agents MI6 had to deploy to get those pictures off Facebook?