Category Archives: Family News

Camp Smitty Finale

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So, we finally got the kids home safe and sound today.  It was a great day, incredibly hot but wonderful and fun.  We got up early and headed down with Ben G to get the kidlets at camp.  We were greeted with huge hugs and big smiles and sunburnt faces, so that’s exactly what we wanted to see.  We got a few pictures of the campers together before they all left for their respective homes, and then it was just the few of us left, the parents and kids that didn’t take the bus.  Finally it was time to ask Quinn about the letter.

I took him aside and asked him about the letter he sent.  There was some confusion since he had sent a letter, but it was handed to us today, and didn’t come in the mail.  No, I said, the letter you sent that said “you do not like it”.  Quinn’s forehead crinkled in confusion, and he said he didn’t remember sending anything like that.  I asked him again, and told him exactly what was in the letter, and that it came in an envelope with his name on it, because Nikki had thoughtfully pre-addressed and stamped 8 (optimistic) envelopes that had the kids names on them so we would know which kid it came from (she’s adorable like that, there’s just no other way we could have known which kid sent which letter).  His eyes did register some recognition at that, and he slowly recalled that Cael had stolen one of his envelopes and his paper.  My eyes widened as I realized what had happened and I slowly turned to Cael and asked him if he wrote the letter and signed Quinn’s name.  His trademark smirk and mischievous eyes told me he was guilty.  He said “I might have accidentally taken one of Quinn’s envelopes….”  At this point I stopped him and said, no, it wasn’t an accident, you did that on purpose.  His grin grew wider and he stammered a bit and said “No hard feelin’s eh?”  What can you say to that?

So, in the end, Nikki and I got pranked SO BAD by our 7 year old son that we were calling the camp director to make sure everything was ok.  In hindsight it makes us even madder that we overlooked Cael’s rather, ah, carefree penmanship when compared to Quinn’s careful letters.  He got us, and he got us good.  I am busting with pride over the sheer genius of the whole thing, and I’m not afraid to tell you about it.  What a kid.

Anyway, camp was a huge success, they all want to go back, we are heroes for sending them, and life is good once again.  Having the house full of sleeping kids just feels right, there’s no other way to describe it.

Camp Update

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As promised, an update on camp time.  Nikki and I have discovered that coming home after work to an empty house sucks.  As a result we have been avoiding doing that, and have been eating out a LOT more than usual.  There is no way to avoid the quiet when we do get home, but at least the lack of dinnertime bustle isn’t so obvious this way.  We had a great weekend, took Friday off to enjoy ourselves a bit and do some hiking in Gatineau Park (which was awesome).  We were doing pretty well overall, until last night when we got a letter from camp.  This is our only letter from the kids to date, mind you.  There was no date and no way to tell when it was written, it was from Quinn and it only contained 7 hastily written words:

 

Needless to say, we called the camp to make sure that Quinn was ok and not having a miserable time.  The director called us back to reassure us that he had in fact been playing basketball with Quinn recently and he did in fact seem to be having a great time, something that his counsellors agreed with.  So the reason for this letter is still unknown, but it seems for now that he got over whatever it was that made him write this.  Nikki and I are burning with curiosity to know what happened, though.  It could have simply been a moment of homesickness, or maybe something didn’t go his way.  It’s hard to tell until we get them on Thursday, really.  Not exactly the camp letter we thought we would be getting, but hopefully something we will have a good laugh about on Thursday.

More to come!

Camp Smitty Departure

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So, yesterday we managed to send three kids off to camp for 10 whole days.  That’s the first time that’s happened, and the kids were STOKED.  Mom and Dad?  Perhaps not as much. 



 


Still we felt it was a really good thing to do for our kids, promote their independence, build their confidence, and of course the crazy amount of fun they would have.  We spent considerable time making sure we packed every item on the pack list, which will probably turn out to be overkill once we have the benefit of hindsight.  That takes a considerable amount of time, as it turns out.  And it looks like we are sending them away for a month. 



 


Anyway, the hardest part for us is they are completely, totally, AWAY.  We can’t easily call, IM, email, poke, Google, FB creep, nothing.  We can only write letters.  Letters, on a dead tree.  On a pure data throughput level, that’s like dialing up to the Internet using a piece of yarn instead of a phone line.  Honestly, how did anybody get anything done? 


So there you go, Nikki and I are dangerously alone for 10 days.  Dangerously, quietly alone.  I will let you know how it all goes….




 


 


 

Go The F#$k To Sleep

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As any parent can tell you, sometimes kids don’t exactly have the same ideas as you when it comes to sleep.  Whatever the reason for it is, and however legitimate, sometimes you just want the kids to be sleeping for your own sanity.

When I first saw this I thought it was a spoof, but it turns out to be a real book that you can actually buy.  Or better yet, you can for a limited time get the audiobook as performed by Samuel Jackson for free on Audible.com (well worth the sign-up).  To say that Samuel does a good job reading this book is an enormous understatement.  I listened to it this afternoon while at a client site (it IS only 5 minutes long, so my conscience is clear), and I had a REALLY hard time keeping quiet.  This f$%king book is hilarious, and is actually quite well written.  Samuel’s reading was perfect, and his introduction pretty much makes the rest of the book sound like he wrote the thing.

“All the kids from daycare are in dreamland. The froggie has made his last leap. Hell no you can’t go to the bathroom, you know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.”

I can’t recommend this more.  It’s absolutely priceless.  Also, it seems that this book went to #1 on Amazon on pre-sales orders based on the wide scale piracy of the PDF months before it became available.  I hope the author makes some money from this one, he deserves it.

Saw it on Boing Boing.  Thank you Boing Boing.

Et tu, XKCD?

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You ever have those days when you feel like you are really starting to get the hang of your life?  When things that bothered you before don’t seem that important, the effort and work you have put into your life up to now is really starting to pay off, and you are finally in control?  The sun is shining, the future is bright, and life is great, right?

Well, as it turns out, me neither because I was having a pretty good morning, playing with my laptops here at home, getting some actual work done, drinking coffee.  I had a minute to kill as I rebooted and thought I would check my favourite webcomic, XKCD (mentioned here many times before). 

That’s when the day took a turn for the suck.

Movie Ages, also known as "Vallentyne is an old man"
Movie Ages, also known as “Vallentyne is an old man”

 

Thanks for kicking me right in the old man crotch there.  I get it, I’m old.  Cripes.

Home Alone does feel old to me.  Terminator 2 does not, nor does The Lion King.  Well crap.  Now I’m going to have to just sit here in my old man chair and mutter about my fragile mortality.

That does it.  This kind of crap is why us old people hate young people.  Young people and their youthful relevance, their un-lined faces, un-receded gumlines and hairlines, un-tweaked spines, and un-stomped on mornings. 

Dangit, now I’ve spilled my tea all over my shawl.

Cael, the Easter Bunny, and the web of lies

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This post was meant to be written much closer to Easter, but I think you will be able to follow along anyway.

Cael is the last “believer” in the house. Quinn put the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy down on the same day a few months ago. Cael on the other hand, despite darkly muttered hints from his brother, insists on believing, continues to believe, and seemingly will continue to believe for some time to come.

On Easter morning Cael woke up first (no real surprise there) and came into wake Nikki and I. We told him to wait for us before going downstairs as we all knew the Bunny in question had already visited and left his usual array of sugar. Nikki and I got up and ready, woke up the other two sleepyheads and went downstairs for breakfast and the main event: the Easter Egg hunt. I had filled the eggs the night before, carefully rationing the amount of gummy bears, chocolate, and peeps so there could be no fights about fairness. The eggs all have either a C, Q, or J on them to avoid any fights that way, too. So everybody knows which egg is theirs, and usually there are 10 or 12 eggs to be found with your initial on it. Quinn and Jordy like to find, and then eat. Cael on the other hand is much happier to stuff his mouth full as he goes, usually telling us what he is jamming into his yap with glee “gummy bear!”, “chocolate egg!”, “peep!” etc.

So that is why when about half of the eggs were found, I was surprised to hear Cael say loudly when he opened one of his eggs: “Hey, a toffee!”

Exhibit A - The Toffee

Nikki and I exchanged carefully blank glances at that one. She didn’t buy toffees, and I definitely hadn’t placed any toffees into any eggs. It took about a half second before the reality of the trap I had fallen into sunk in.

Cael had obviously been up for longer than we had originally thought, and had started his egg hunt a little early. Upon finding a treat, he was clearly unable to contain himself and ate it. Then, realizing his mistake, looked about for a way to fix the problem. There was the remains of an old loot bag from a birthday party nearby, which provided the toffee (which nobody likes, being the consistency of extruded plastic, you could whittle a reasonable facsimile of a Barbie toy out of one). His reasoning was sound: there was NO way that Nikki or I could POSSIBLY know what the Easter Bunny had placed into that egg. As long as there was something candy-like in there, he would be safe.

And there it is. A prison built of lies and guilt, constructed so perfectly that it is inescapable. Nikki and I are trapped, and sit helplessly, unable to break free for ruining the lie that most parents tell their kids, one that serves only the parents: There is no Easter Bunny.

As soon as Cael discovers that one, he is of course immediately in trouble. Because it will be our first day of parole from the Alcatraz we are trapped in, and it will be time to move to Grounded Town, population: Cael.

The moral of the story here? If I could do the whole parent thing over again? I would definitely do it differently. I think it’s important for new parents to know our mistake so they don’t make it, too. Learn from us, and your kids will be better for it. Just let go of the old silly ways.

Yep, if I could do it all again I would have slept on the stairs so the little bugger couldn’t get past me.