Category Archives: Family News

At home with the kids for the summer – The things you learn

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So, for those of you who don’t already know, I was laid off from my job at Deloitte in June. An absolute gift really as now I’m at home with the kids for the summer with a nice severance and enjoying them tons more than my 2-3 weeks holidays would have allowed… not to mention the hours were less than desirable at busy season and the manager I directly reported to did not appreciate my lust for life, as I’m pretty sure she loathed her own. A wonderful work environment. No?

So as any stay at home mom can attest to, when the house is full all day long the cleaning is much greater than when the house empties for the day. More meals to prep, more traffic, more activities.(No slight to the working mom, I was one of those too, and there are different struggles with that dynamic, no question – for example, “For the love of God and all that’s holy, why can’t I require less sleep and gain 6 hours in my day?”)

With that in mind, there are things that Court would do while I was working like the composting for example. He’d empty it every other day and from my perspective, magically the composter would be empty whenever required and I never had to manage it – Awesome! I never realized exactly HOW awesome that was until recently .

Like I said, there is more food prep and more activity now that we are all home, so our indoor composting bucket needs more dumping than it ever has before. As a result I asked Quinn to go dump the bucket a few days ago and he did. He said nothing of the event until I asked his brother a day or two later to do the same thing.
Q – “Cael, there are these lichens in there.”
Me – “what?”
Q – “Little white worms.”
Me – “Oh, maggots, I better go and check it out with you Cael”

So off the three of us go. Yes the three of us. I head out of course, as the leader, to see the degree of the situation (there is probably 30 or 40 in there, and I make a mental note to talk to Court about that). Cael was tasked with the dumping, so he is taking his job very seriously, and Quinn, our “lichen” expert is joining us out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Like the three musketeers we begin our adventure to the composter that is now in the middle of the driveway, and in plain view of the entire neighbourhood because it is city compost day. We all cozy up to the composter, and I show Cael with care how to maneuver the latch on the bin and I flip it up.
….

This is the part where I scream louder than I’ve EVER screamed, to the detriment of my own eardrums. The boys in suit scream like the girl that is their mother, and with new compost flinging everywhere from the bucket in Cael’s hand we all run to the front porch and cling to it like grim death. This became the unspoken “home base” we all needed.

What scared us? Maggots. There was no green to be seen inside that bin. They literally, no lie, swarmed out of the sides as daylight shone upon them, and when I released the lid in my screaming panic, it actually squished hundreds that poured out onto the rim. It was a horror show in a bin. I am gagging as I type this tale to you all.
…

Quinn is the first to break the silence that fear has imposed upon us as we all stare at each other through eyes like dinner plates.
Q – “Mom?”
Through thick swallows and a heaving chest providing the cleansing breaths that only a “home base” away from the maggots can provide I reply with a strong and solid “yeah?”
Q- “Um, you’re the parent…and you screamed and ran.”

Not a proud moment for sure. Thanks, and here’s a shout out to Captain Obvious for pointing that out. All I can do at this point is start a nervous and uncontrollable giggle at my epic fail to be the strong force that should protect my kids. “That’s right kids, every man for himself! Run like the wind, and GOD HELP YOU if you bring one in on your shoe!”

Quinn, who is always ready with a comment (not unlike his father), “I’ll bet that was really funny for anyone watching.”

We all of course laughed hysterically reenacting our ridiculousness because there is no way in hell, every neighbour would miss running to their windows to witness the display that followed three blood curdling screams. We all shone that day. Even Courtney. Go ahead … ask me how he also shone. Oh you crazy rapscallions have convinced me. …

Me – “Court, you wouldn’t believe what happened!” (I regale him with the horrific story over the phone)
Court -[snort, chuckle, guffaw] – “Um, [snicker snicker], honey…[snort snort]… it’s a COM-PO-STER”
…Think Sesame Street on that last sentence.
Me – (Another shout out to Captain Obvious) “I KNOW Huh-NEE…. but we have Kanata’s full maggot population in just OUR bin! What are we going to do?”
Court -[snort, chuckle, guffaw] – “Well sweetheart if you think you can singlehandedly circumvent the circle of life….[snort, chuckle, guffaw]”
….

So it was decided that I would NEVER do the composting again until winter. In my defense Quinn will attest that when he went to the composter originally there was only about 30-40 in there.

On another note… with the support I received from Court… there will be a surprise for him to follow. Perhaps one that will make it to the blog in the near future. Muhwahahahahaha!

Quinn’s Persuasive Letter

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Recently Quinn had an assignment at school to write a persuasive letter to his teacher in an attempt to get her to not assign him any homework.  I think he did a fantastic job, and I asked him if he minded if I posted it here.  He said that was fine, so have a read and see if you agree with me.

Dear Mrs. Teacher (not his real teacher’s name…)

Am I a good student (at least the majority of times)?  Why do I need homework?  I want no homework for a month and I will tell you why.

If you keep on giving us homework (not just me) the class will have less opportunities to spend time with their friends and families.  We need breaks sometimes, and my only break is home and you’re filling it with work!  I don’t know a person who works non-stop without breaks and if you do, that’s bad company.  It’s affective on our health and strength too.  If I’m trapped in my home day and night, I’m not getting the vitamins and minerals I need.  We also won’t get enough sleep which will affect out marks and learning goals.  You’re not only hurting us, but yourself too!  Of you keep on giving us this “Christmas present” you’ll have to correct it, which steals time with your daughter who’s only 1!  She’d be so depressed.  You wouldn’t want that, right?

Another reason we shouldn’t have this nightmare is it will affect our health and growth and as a gym teacher, that’s unacceptable on your part.  If we had less homework, we would be big muscular beach bodies.  We would be a ton more healthy and fit!  Also, to enjoy the outdoors we need trees!  If we didn’t have trees where would we  be?  And now your walking around with deadly axes, killing every tree in sight.  If I were Prime Minister, I would put a stop to the endless torture to these young citizens!  What did they do to you?  We would also be less stressed, you would be too.  Why is our class so loud and annoying?  IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!  And like I said before, What’s more important?  Homework or <your daughter>?  I thought so!

We also already work hard.  Why do we need homework?  Think about our portfolios.  They are huge (at least MY portfolio).  That’s all the work we did at school.  Multiply that by five.  That’s how much homework.  Think about WWW.  Think about math sheets.  How you never correct it.  Again, that’s why it’s all your fault!  Also, the second reason, Mme French Teacher is flaming red is because homework keeps me from focusing on French.  If you think different I might change my mind about my favourite subject (mathematics) to Medieval Times.  That’s not good.

That is why the class (or at least me) deserves a break.  Besides, wouldn’t you like to see 28 faces beaming up at you?  Mind the frown.

Needless to say, he got a great mark.  No word yet on if his letter will be successful or not, but I will update you later.

Btw, I asked him about his last sentence and he responded that everyone in the class universally hates homework, with the exception of one single girl who loves it.  Hence, the frown.  What a kid.

 

Mundane Ramblings Retrospective – 2003

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On January 7th, 2012, this blog turned 9 years old.  I thought I would do a little retro round up for the next little while to go back and bring forward some of the older content just for fun.

In the beginning the blog was on Blogger.com, mainly because I had no inclination to learn real HTML at the time, and the family website was too hard to update by hand.  A peek at what the blog looked like back then can be found on the Internet Wayback Machine here.

There is a real conversation in the first 6 or 8 months or so between some folks here, not necessarily staying true to the intent of a web log, but it was fun.  If you go back that far now, due to the platform switch from Blogger to Movable Type, (which was the thing to do among discerning geeks at the time), most of the posts look like they were written by me.  It’s very confusing actually, so don’t go back that far.  Instead look here for some of the more memorable posts of the first year:

Duck Meets Rink

Just realized that Ali ran a 50-min 10K back in 2003 with 15% body fat!  Holy crap.  Well done, I realize now that’s a very decent time, and way faster than I am at the moment.

Nikki responds to my trash-talk about being able to drink more than her.

Quinn has toe surgery (the first time)

One of the first news-related snarky posts by me in something like the tone that would soon become commonplace on the blog.

The basement reno is pretty well documented, at least in text.  The inspection post is the most amusing one of the bunch.

Herring farts.  Yes, a whole post about that.

One of many funny rants from Ali, who was a regular poster back in the day!

Nikki’s (and the blog’s) last post of the year.

So there you go, a year’s worth of retrospective.  That was fun, going back through the old stuff, and I might even do a summary for 2004.  That’s what has-beens do, they release a greatest hits album to generate interest again.  I got eight more years to go through, let’s see if we all can make it through eight more posts like this one.

Anyway, without getting too maudlin (I am turning 40 this year and I would rather NOT dwell on that, thank you) reading stuff from 9 years ago makes me realize how really lucky I am.  The friends and family I have are second to none.  You guys are amazing, amazing folks.  Nikki, you are my absolute best friend, and this little tour through memory lane makes me realize for the nine-hundredth time that you are the MOST important thing in my life.  Lord knows I have messed some things up (we will no doubt get to those blog posts later on), but marrying my best friend was the best decision I have ever made.  Wow.

So, with that, I will get back to work and still be thinking of you all.

Cael’s Greatest Hits

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I had been saving a few choice Cael-isms up for a future post, or for use in another way, but it never happened for one reason or another.  So here is a list of some of Cael’s better moments.  To say that the kid has a gift is probably an understatement, he’s only 7 and regularly cracks us up.  So, without further ado, some raw unfiltered goodness from the man himself:

Cael on music:

There is no rock and roll in Arnprior, it’s just a bunch of singers and banjos.  A bunch of honey bunnies  and slow motion singers.

Cael on Arnprior, again (perhaps a tad harsh?)

Arnprior is just like a village where no one has water, like in Rango.

Cael once mentioned about how we don’t have cable TV anymore, and when he does get a chance to watch it there often doesn’t seem to be anything on…

Daytime television is just a bunch of “So Barbaras” (pronounce that phonetically and you get “soap operas”)

Cael on getting kisses from Nikki before leaving for school in the morning.

He comes flying into the bathroom doing some serious karate chopping and fancy footwork going Hiya! Hiya! and I laughed and he says, “I’m the LOVE NINJA! – here for my lovin’s”

Cael on how amazing his beautiful mom is:

You smell like when unicorns existed.  <looks around> Don’t tell anybody, it might get out of hand…

Cael after Trick-or-treating for little while, starts to feel a little tired and asks:

How long have we been hitting the sacks, anyway?

Cael on putting on his precious hockey team toque for the first time:

Ahh, it still has that new toque smell.

Cael got into trouble last year with his teacher, and she was going to punish him and call us to tell us about it.

Mrs. C – “I’m calling your mother”

Cael – “No, I’ll make you a deal”

Mrs. C – “Ok,”…..

Cael – “I’ll give you 50 pushups if you don’t call my mom”

Mrs. C - “I’m calling your mother”

…. and she did

Buddy, you are just the frigging best.  Don’t change one bit.  If you know one I have forgotten, by all means comment and remind me.

You are as old as you think you might be, kinda

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Recent breakfast conversation:

Cael: “Would you say I am basically 8 years old?” (Cael turns 8 in January, and is rather eager to do so)

Dad: “Not yet, buddy.”

Cael: “Am I mentally 8 years old?”

Quinn (choking down a spoonful of cereal to answer immediately): “You can just decide how old you want to be mentally, you can be 35 if you want.  Jeez.”

I hope this translates well to the web, I laughed myself silly about this one.  It was Quinn’s semi-outraged, authoritative tone that did it to me.  My god, I am raising him into an exact replica of myself it seems.  Hopefully without the teenage acne though.  And finishing post secondary school would be good.  There are other traits that he could also do without, but that’s another post.

Vallentyne Boys Septic Hilarity

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I love the way that life shapes our kids.  Forget all the parenting crap you ever read, all of the tactics and approaches you try.  In the end, the biggest influence on your kids will be their lives and experiences.  Sure you can hope that the experiences are positive, but even if they aren’t, they can prove to be useful in learning.  A good example would be the fact that we have had a poop composter in our backyard for a couple of years now, the guys are very used to that.  In addition to that, some close friends recently replaced their septic system, so needless to say they have lots of septic-related experience recently.  Sure, not really experience that would really make or break their success maybe, but who knows, it might come in handy someday.

For instance, the other day there was a big windstorm at our place, and it happened to be the night before our garbage pickup day.  As the boys and I were walking to the bus in the morning there was a garbage can lid laying on the grass near the edge of the road at the park next to us, blown off somebody’s garbage can.  Cael noticed it and said “Geez, I never noticed the septic system there before?”  I chuckled, and then Quinn jumped right in with all of the swagger and authority of an older brother and scoffing he said “No Cael, it’s a poop hole.”  I loved the fact that my two kids immediately and unquestioningly believed that this garbage can lid could be either of those two things, and in fact they have had direct experience with both things recently, and both are equally valid possibilities in their world.  It also leads me to take great heart in the fact that I am completely messing with their realities, and that years from now they will both reflect back and say to each other “What the heck was with Dad and those poop holes?  Man, that was messed up.

Yep, happy to be the guy doing this to my kids.