Category Archives: Apocalypse Soon

Water Conservation Calculator

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Well, here’s a neat little water usage calculator to give you an idea of just how your bloated McMansion lifestyle stacks up to the average for your province.  I gave it a crack, and discovered that for some reason (probably the fact that I have grossly underestimated our water usage) we show up as well below the average, surprisingly below in fact.  I must have done something wrong.

Still, we don’t have a pool, I never wash the cars (lazy pays in this case), and only rarely water the lawn these days.  I even put in a fairly honest (I think) 8 loads of laundry a week, and 7 dishwasher loads a week.  Nikki is probably laughing right now at that since I’m not home all day and have no frigging idea…..  Still it’s good to have some idea of how you stack up, water-wise.

Anyway, there you go, have a look and see how you compare to the parched, camel-like existence of the Vallentyne household.

***  Editor’s note:  I went back and realized that the survey was asking for information on “me”, for example “how many times a day do you flush the toilet?” and they probably meant to say “how many times do toilets get flushed in your household?”.  I gave a quick guess, and what do you know, we are much much damper and squishier than I had originally guessed.  So much for that.  It is neat that the site remembers your previous results though.

Our now more accurate water consumption

It’s strangely ironic that the toilet flushing thing really upped our consumption since it’s all we can do to get the lads to remember to flush the damn thing anyway, no matter what lies in wait in there.

Thanks to Mom for the link.

Rampant Gun-tards

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Almost shooting yourself in the foot (in the foot!) with a Glock while teaching a firearms safety class is not a good thing.  It’s hard to maintain credibility with the class, ya know?

More on that note, here’s a very entertaining read.  It’s the collected postings of a person known as the Mall Ninja, helpfully annotated and explained.  Basically the result of way too many action movies and not reading nearly enough books, this guy fabricates an entire universe where he (along with his tactical squad) is the armed protector of a mall, and is the only thing standing between the huddled masses and evil.  Funny?  Yes.  Scary?  Absolutely.  Sad?  Unfortunately, yes.

Behold:  The Shrine of the Mall Ninja

Humility before nature

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As I wake up on a picture perfect spring day, skip outside without a coat and bathe in the beautiful sunlight, it behooves us to remember that we exist here because nature tolerates us, and sometimes are subject to her moods and tempers.

The unexpected eruption of a volcano in Chile is certainly one such mood, it seems.  That is definitely scary enough, but check out what happened when a thunderstorm collided with the plume of ash.  Absolutely breathtaking, and it drives the point home that for all our fancy intellect and technology, we could be wiped off the earth if we make her mad enough.

Here’s a picture I stole without permission from the link above.  Awesome.

“Cheap” beer prices going up

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An article on Canoe.ca today warns me to enjoy that cheap beer because prices are going up soon.  I have only one answer to that:  HUH?  If the prices I’m paying now are cheap prices, it looks like I will just cut beer right out altogether.  I like beer.  I love beer.  But today’s beer prices are not cheap, not even close. (cue the old geezer voice)  I remember when you could buy a case of beer for, uh, well a lot less than you can today.  It really is a lot more expensive these days, I don’t understand why. 

Now keen readers of this blog will already know that beer prices are going to go up because I told you that already this month.  Or rather, a scientist from New Zealand told us that.

You may start to think that all I think about is beer, but that’s not true I was also thinking about beer and wine at the same time a little while ago.  In any case (that’s a beer pun), summer is just around the corner, and since those climate folks are predicting a warm one, I suggest we all stock up for the warm weather.  Ah beer, how can I stay mad at you?

Belated Earth Day

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Blast and damn.  I had a couple of things I wanted to mention on Earth Day and didn’t get a chance to do so.  Must be the viral invader in my system messing with my synapses.  Anyway, first a good article about how the biggest question we all face when thinking about doing something about climate change is “Why Bother?“.  It’s a good piece, and makes a fairly strong case that if we each do something, everybody bothers to do one little thing, then we create a sort of social pressure to do more, like a positive feedback loop.  Individual efforts hardly matter at all to the environment directly, but maybe our example to others will help start a wave of change that will actually make a difference.  His favourite personal act seems to be starting a vegetable garden in your yard.  Anyway it’s a good read, check it out.

Then we have a feel-good commercial for the Discovery Channel, I Love the Whole World.  Catchy and fun.

Happy Belated Earth Day folks.

Beer Panic

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Now pipe down! SETTLE people. Indoor voices! It is not the time for these shenanigans.

Apparently some of you got a little crazy after my post yesterday about the potential beer shortage and thought you would go and steal some beer. A lot of beer.

We have been here before, there is no reason for any silliness. Beer supplies are fine, there’s no reason to get all Mad Max apocalypsey on us. Yes the climate is warming, sure. It’s not all doom and gloom, it may be warmer but then you won’t need a jacket.