httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeTL0tjkYYw
Guy at the front is like, whatevs, good deal.
Thanks Buzzfeed.
Author Archives: Court
Finally, Parenting Made Easy.
Parenting is hard. There are so many possible ways that you can screw up, it’s a gauntlet of therapy-inducing phobias that you can pass on to your kids that will really mess them up forever. Some parents try to avoid these pitfalls, but really it’s only a matter of time before your kids will just find one on their own and latch on, riding that sucker right through to middle-age or later until they (maybe) finally address it with some aggressive shock therapy in a grungy abandoned hospital basement in New Jersey with a “Doctor” they found on the net. Or something like that.
Or you can just shortcut all that crap, and just give your kids pant-shitting fears of your own choosing. A lot faster, easier and then there’s none of that constant worrying. It’s pretty attractive, you have to admit. Anyway, that’s the kind of thinking that I assume has gone into this awesome company: Evil Birthday Clown
Essentially, you hire this guy who will dress as an evil clown and STALK your child for a week. He will send menacing text messages, set traps, make phone calls to your child, and generally make damn sure your kid will ALWAYS remember what their worst fear is. The game of it all is he is trying to hit your kid in the face with a pie (of dubious origin). If your kid manages to avoid 1) getting hit with the pie and 2) becoming a raving gibbering lunatic, why then the clown will give your child the pie. Sounds like a GREAT birthday.
What in the ever-loving world would make you do this to ANYONE, let alone one of your own kids? (Lockrey excluded) This is some scary messed up shit right here.
Thanks Boing Boing, for warning me.
Quinn’s Persuasive Letter
Recently Quinn had an assignment at school to write a persuasive letter to his teacher in an attempt to get her to not assign him any homework. I think he did a fantastic job, and I asked him if he minded if I posted it here. He said that was fine, so have a read and see if you agree with me.
Dear Mrs. Teacher (not his real teacher’s name…)
Am I a good student (at least the majority of times)? Why do I need homework? I want no homework for a month and I will tell you why.
If you keep on giving us homework (not just me) the class will have less opportunities to spend time with their friends and families. We need breaks sometimes, and my only break is home and you’re filling it with work! I don’t know a person who works non-stop without breaks and if you do, that’s bad company. It’s affective on our health and strength too. If I’m trapped in my home day and night, I’m not getting the vitamins and minerals I need. We also won’t get enough sleep which will affect out marks and learning goals. You’re not only hurting us, but yourself too! Of you keep on giving us this “Christmas present” you’ll have to correct it, which steals time with your daughter who’s only 1! She’d be so depressed. You wouldn’t want that, right?
Another reason we shouldn’t have this nightmare is it will affect our health and growth and as a gym teacher, that’s unacceptable on your part. If we had less homework, we would be big muscular beach bodies. We would be a ton more healthy and fit! Also, to enjoy the outdoors we need trees! If we didn’t have trees where would we be? And now your walking around with deadly axes, killing every tree in sight. If I were Prime Minister, I would put a stop to the endless torture to these young citizens! What did they do to you? We would also be less stressed, you would be too. Why is our class so loud and annoying? IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! And like I said before, What’s more important? Homework or <your daughter>? I thought so!
We also already work hard. Why do we need homework? Think about our portfolios. They are huge (at least MY portfolio). That’s all the work we did at school. Multiply that by five. That’s how much homework. Think about WWW. Think about math sheets. How you never correct it. Again, that’s why it’s all your fault! Also, the second reason, Mme French Teacher is flaming red is because homework keeps me from focusing on French. If you think different I might change my mind about my favourite subject (mathematics) to Medieval Times. That’s not good.
That is why the class (or at least me) deserves a break. Besides, wouldn’t you like to see 28 faces beaming up at you? Mind the frown.
Needless to say, he got a great mark. No word yet on if his letter will be successful or not, but I will update you later.
Btw, I asked him about his last sentence and he responded that everyone in the class universally hates homework, with the exception of one single girl who loves it. Hence, the frown. What a kid.
Tenacious D – To Be The Best
Tenacious D is one of the those things that you either get or you don’t. Personally I find Jack Black hilarious in this mode, so this is generally good fun for me. First off a “news report” about how after the movie they made Kyle Gass goes nuts, while Jack becomes incredibly famous. Also, a nice cameo from Val Kilmer…
Note: contains large bare male bellies
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nai7w1frB1E
Then on the much more down to earth side of things, while on tour recently (not sure just how long ago) Jack sees a couple of 10 year old kids playing Bob Dylan in a town square and arranges to have them open for Tenacious D that very evening. Completely awesome and unnecessary level of coolness for him to display, really. Even if the whole thing is faked (doesn’t feel like it, but I guess you never know these days), these kids are clearly having a great time playing in front of the crowd, still way cool stuff.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDValTQE1oU
Minneapolis teens decide to not drink the Catholic Kool-aid
In a move that anyone with an actual brain could have predicted would “go badly”, the Catholic church shows up to indoctrinate the senior class at a Minneapolis high school about what a proper marriage should be. The presentation disparaged adopted children ( “sociologically unstable”), kids with only one parent (“a ‘normal’ family is the best family”), and naturally the whole presentation got entirely out of hand and erupted into anger when the topic of gay marriage inevitably was addressed:
“When they finally got to gay marriage, [students] were really upset,” said Bliss. “You could look around the room and feel the anger. My friend who is a lesbian started crying, and people were crying in the bathroom.”
Bliss was one of several students who stood up to argue with the representatives from the archdiocese. One girl held up a sign that said, “I love my moms.”
…..
At one point, Bliss raised his hand and, “as politely as I could,” began to argue with the presenters. He used his knowledge of history to refute many of their points, and explained that various cultures have accepted and embraced homosexuality going back hundreds of years.
“I think they were surprised by the history I gave them and surprised that I was so calm,” said Bliss. “I don’t think they expected the response they got from the students.”
They were so upset that the priest and school officials abruptly ended the assembly. Students who were angry were allowed to stay there and talk with the archdiocese volunteers. It was more civil, for a while, but the more questions the presenters tried to answer, the worse it got.
“It was a really awful ending,” said Bliss. “It was anger, anger, anger, and then we were done and they left. This is really a bad idea.”
The presentation was a very thinly-veiled attempt on behalf of the church to control the outcome of an upcoming vote on same-sex marriages, which the students were quick to pick up on:
Hannah said students were anxious when they heard about the program and were suspicious because only seniors were required to go. “We put two and two together,” said Hannah. “All of us will be able to vote next fall [on the constitutional amendment that limits marriage to same-sex couples].”
This kind of thing is exactly will inevitably end the power of these kinds of institutions. As it turns out, these kids prefer to think for themselves for the most part, and while there are exceptions to every rule, for the most part young educated people won’t stand for this kind of blatant discrimination, and they aren’t afraid to talk about it, and ultimately take action when something is wrong.
You stay classy, organized religion!
Easily the best thing on the Internet today
Watch this immediately, absolutely fantastic.
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Saw it on Facebook, thanks Paula!