About Court

This is Courtney Vallentyne's blog.

Music Memory

As any adult of sufficiently advanced age will probably say; the music of your youth makes an indelible mark on you that isn’t easily erased.  Every old geezer like me has at one time or another gone on and on about the stuff they listened to back in the day, boring to tears any youth within earshot.  Music isn’t better or worse today than it used to be (except boy bands, ’cause what the holy hell was everyone thinking?  Even as a kid in the target demographic, that stuff was just shit), it’s just different.

The reason music imprints on the young brain is simple (in my own uneducated, opinionated and unscientific research):  as a teenager you have for the first time: lots of disposable income AND endless amounts of time, hence you listen to a lot of music.  Lots of it over and over again, and it served as the backdrop for all of those memories that old folks like me love to retell over and over.

I can understand this, and since my tastes in music have broadened considerably (a necessity since I have children, but also from my own choosing) since I was a teenager, and I mostly listen to other things now there is no reason for the following fact:

I still can hear the tape artifacts from my own copies in the songs I hear today that are perfect.  It drives me absolutely nuts.  Let me explain:  There was a tape *pop* in my copy of Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits that messed up a line in Only the Good Die Young and when I hear that song today I can tell when it’s coming, and in fact the very moment when it used to happen.  I haven’t had that tape in over 20 years, probably.  WHY DOES MY BRAIN DO THESE THINGS TO ME?  Or, you might ask, why am I listening to Billy Joel now?  Well, good question and it has mostly to do with my Xbox Music Pass that gives me unlimited access to every damn thing for $9 a month, so there’s very little friction to finding these old things and putting them on for a play once in a while.

So that’s how I know it’s still happening, but that doesn’t explain the WHY it’s happening.  There’s no reason for me to remember that imperfection.  I was a Billy Joel fan sure, but no more than any other band from back then, there are other song defects I can recall in a similar vein that have no reason to be in my brain.

cassette_tape

Anybody else experience this?  I sometimes expect songs to be played in the same order from my favourite mixed tapes as well.  Unrelated artists, completely random selection of songs, and my dumb brain needs them to be played in the same order as I remember them to be on a tape I haven’t seen for 20 years.  Imagine what I could do if I could clean out the garbage in my head like that stuff?  Well, probably nothing all that new but it might save you from reading stuff like this post.

Arsehole goes AWOL

Forgive the title, but it’s by far the only one that suits.

The other day I got a text from Nikki that has basically been a foregone conclusion for a while now:

Dog is gone, I can’t go look for him right now, what do I do?

I answered from work with the only answer there is:

Don’t worry about it, I will look for him when I get home.

That’s all we could really do.  A service guy had come to the door and had left it a little too wide open and Lloyd took his shot.  Given his history of running out the door, it was just a matter of time before he took another jaunt around the neighborhood.  It was about another three hours or so before I got home from work, changed and then started walking the neighborhood looking for a giant moron terrorizing the townsfolk.  Lloyd can be aggressive to other dogs while he is walking on a leash, but allowed to run free he’s far more easygoing.  That doesn’t mean that the whole city is completely cool with 160 pounds of drooling moron running free, so my sense of social responsibility led me to walk the area for the next three hours, calling his name.  Several scenarios came to mind, and the rather real possibility that I might have to fix someone’s car because they ran into the big lug was one of the more likely ones.

Needless to say, I didn’t find him.  Nikki meanwhile had been manning the phones for a while at this point and got a call back from the Ottawa Humane Society and they said that they had the felon in custody already.  This was good news, but they were going to close at 7pm and we wouldn’t make it through traffic in time to go and get him.  So Lloyd spent a night in the clink with all of the other hardened canine criminals.

When I finally got to pick him up the next day he was a pretty subdued dog until he saw me, and then he went absolutely nuts with happy.  I got him home safe and sound for a good rest, needless to say he was happy to be there again.  Not that I think he learned a damn thing mind you, and I fully believe that he would take off again in a single heartbeat if given the chance.

Sweet drooly freedom

So, here’s to the fine folks at the Ottawa Humane Society for all that they do.  I even got a tweet back from them, that’s a darn good bunch of people there.

Twitter with Ottawa Humane Society So, there you go.  The tale of Lloyd’s Kanata Tour this month, hopefully never to be repeated.

Eastercache 2013

As an important part of any good upbringing, our kids are well-versed in the Chocolate holidays: Easter, Halloween, Labour Day (doesn’t everyone celebrate that one with chocolate union cards?  huh).  Anyway, as anyone knows, the very best part of the Easter Chocolate holiday is the finding of treats that have been hidden around the house.  It’s way better than Halloween in that sense, since you don’t have to go and beg for your stuff from strangers with bags of candy, which on any other day of the year is a sure jail sentence for anyone trying to give other people’s kids candy, but I digress.

Our kids LOVE the Easter egg hunts, which if I do say so have been awesome in the past.  Since the kids could all read we have er, The Bunny has left a very detailed note with riddles about the location of some of the things to be found around the house.  The Bunny has good writers that can really be creative, one of them is called something that rhymes with Tricky and boy can she write a poem.  Anyway, as the years passed we realized that the kids may need something a bit more challenging to maintain the fun, so I had a call with The Bunny and we decided that we would take the show on the road so to speak and hide things outside the house.  At first this was modest, since the kids were young.  I used a free app on my iPhone (which I had AT THE TIME, long before I saw the light, or rather the Lumia 920 that I really, honestly love more than I ever did my iPhone)** to get the GPS coordinates of where I was hiding the goodies, and then the kids could use the app to find the goodies again.  It ends up being a simple compass and distance display for them, but of course anyone who has used a compass to navigate before knows that’s it’s rarely that easy, and it’s not perfectly accurate, so there is still at least a little bit of looking required.  The hiding area became the green space behind the house.  The kids loved it, it was way too much fun.

This year, since we had a newly licensed driver in the house, it was time to take it up a notch and the whole city of Kanata became part of the egg hunt, which was both hilarious and so much fun.  Obviously Jordy couldn’t navigate and drive at the same time, so the boys took turns giving directions.  Needless to say it was a good thing that it was early and there weren’t many folks on the road, as there was much sudden changing of direction.  The first stop on the Eastercache was by a stunning serendipitous coincidence Starbucks, which was so handy, as Nik and I dearly needed a huge coffee….  Jordy wasn’t COMPLETELY jazzed by having the handsome barista hand her the bag of Easter goodies from behind the counter, but whatareyagonnado?

It’s price you pay for having absolutely cornball parents I guess.  Maybe next year I can cook up a map of the GPS coordinates we used for you folks to laugh at.

** Update to clarify that I was using an iPhone 3G to do this years ago, just before “Thinking Different” became a joke.

I am Jealous of Cakes

Nikki makes cakes.  They are very cool.

look at this wicked minecraft cake look at this wicked red cake

Hellish Hell Train to Hell

They are pretty awesome, just look at those suckers.  Everybody loves them, there is lots of evidence of this.  Not me.  I hate them.

It’s not that I hate how they taste, but I do.  I find them too sweet, in general.  Cake is ruined by all that toothache-inducing icing.  Cake wouldn’t nearly have the reputation it has if we always just served it without icing.  But this post is not about the taste of cake.

I’m jealous of cake because of the time it takes away from my life.  When Nikki sets out to make a cake for someone (and in all honesty it’s always someone we are very close to, and to those people who have received a cake recently or are about to receive a cake, please realize that I don’t hate you, in fact the very reason you got a cake is because we love you, but it’s actually your stinking disgusting terrible birthday cake that I hate), it takes HOURS of planning from concept design, shopping for the right supplies and props, and then baking the damn thing.  Then comes the worst part: Hundreds of curse-filled hunched over bleary hours assembling, rolling, smoothing, agonizing, trimming, all the while gibbering and gnashing and shrieking.

Note that I do all of this while Nikki calmly, cheerfully and efficiently makes the cake, occasionally asking me to gibber more quietly.

It’s not that she sucks at making cakes, she’s really really good at it, it’s that by the end of that damn cake I am jealous of the time she spends on it and not me.  There, I said it.  Cake making time is after all the other things have been done, time that should be spent on me, obviously.  I deserve that time, clearly, because I am far more interesting, not as crumby (usually), less demanding (just), and contain fewer calories.

In conclusion, cake has done nothing for me, and for that, I hate, yes, hate it.

I feel better now.

I found Nemo, and he is a jerk

It seems that the travel gods decided that I have not been pious enough, and have decided to punish me on my trip home from Seattle.  Clearly despite the fact that I never ever travel, Nemo decided that I shall spend more hours away from my family than previously expected.  As you can imagine, I’m thrilled about the whole thing, and Nikki is too.  Newark remains a distant destination for now.  Its not all bad of course, I’m currently sitting in a nice little place called RockBottom in Seattle.  Not metaphorically (although I am having my 2nd beer), but rather that’s the name of the place. Anyway, Seattle is a good place to be.  It’s about 10 degrees and overcast, which is winter for Seattle, and by all accounts that’s pretty much paradise when compared to Ottawa or New York for that matter.  Methinks if I ever make it to Newark it will be much different.

Anyway.  The inevitable comparisons to Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is obvious, just take out the Trains and Automobiles.  Planes, Planes and more planes.

Anyway, it was a fantastic week of training, not the least of which was a great party at Safeco Field in Seattle, where they obviously have regular sportsball competitions.  It was just too much fun.  I snapped a few pics, below.

Good times, now I just need them to end.

Tech Ready Safeco field Safeco TechReady

Hawky the hawk (not his actual name) looks dangerous

Hawky the hawk (not his actual name) looks dangerous

 

TechReady Death Star