About Court

This is Courtney Vallentyne's blog.

Here kitty kitty……GAH!

The recent story about the cat that “came back” so to speak from the dead is of course terrifying all by itself.  Just click through and read about this poor creature that decided it just wasn’t done eating the young and terrorizing the countryside.  I mean, seriously just look at this thing.

Why have you awoken me?

It looks like this particular cat is going to make it, somehow, which I suppose is great news for the cat but not so great for the family that buried him, as we all know.

This all reminded me of a story that I don’t believe made it to the blog yet, but I believe the statute of limitations has expired on it now and it can finally come to light.

Years ago, Jordy had a cat at her Dad’s house that wandered off one day unexpectedly.  It was missing for a while, but it did that often enough that she wasn’t too concerned, until one day when she was on her way back to Kanata after a weekend in Cornwall and she saw what was obviously her cat, dead on the road near her Dad’s house.  Needless to say by the time she got to Kanata she was fully worked up and very upset.  Nikki and I tried to calm her down the best we could, but it was soon clear that there really was only one choice.

So, with garbage bags, a shovel and gloves (and garlic, stakes and a crucifix) I drove off that evening to Cornwall to collect the cat.  There are few things that look as suspicious as being parked on the side of the road with the trunk up and a shovel in hand at night.  I made it back successfully without being arrested for questioning and proceeded to entomb the creature in our backyard by the ghostly light of the eldritch moon.  Or at least that’s what it felt like by this time, because there’s just something about moving dead things around in your car at night that gets to you…

The next morning I told Jordy that all was well, and the cat was at rest in our backyard.  Well, nice try there sucker, but Jordy had by this time written a letter to say goodbye, which she wanted buried with the cat.  Sooo we dug up the cat one more time, said a few words and re-buried the cat with the letter in the much friendlier and less sinister daylight.

End of story.

Except it wasn’t the end of the story.  Three weeks later, Jordy calls us from a weekend at her Dad’s house in Cornwall and says brightly on the phone:  “Guess what?  Caillou came back!”  I didn’t mention that the cat’s name was Caillou, did I?  Well it is.

And that friends, is how I came to drive most of two hours by moonlight to collect somebody else’s cat and bury it twice in my own backyard.

Country Song Formulas

So, while I’m generally not a fan of any of this music and anything I write here can’t really be taken with a very objective viewpoint I have long complained that all of the new music sounds the same to me.

I think I can now rest my case, because this is absolutely amazing.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY8SwIvxj8o

 

I will point out that no doubt this can be done with lots of other songs of any genre, and isn’t really exclusive to country music….

Cafeteria Food – The Bellwether for Modern Business Management Practices?

I am lucky enough to have a job that suits me perfectly.  I seem to have enough attention deficit that staying in one place for too long drives me up a wall.  So, I am very happy hopping from client to client, meeting the new folks, seeing the new things.  One thing I get to see a lot of is company cafeterias.  The cafeteria of a company is an infallible barometer for how fun it is to work there.  I have seen many now and I know this to be true.  A modern room, with lots of choices of things to eat, lots of sunlight, that kind of thing is usually a very strong indicator that the company at least has read SOME kind of management book written in the last 20 years about trying to keep your worker bees happy.

However, I have now seen the winner of all time.  Walk with me….

The room looks like a scene out of Orange is the New Black, but with slightly fewer coveralls. Think 1970s medical institution and you probably have it. Lots of green and terrazzo. Anyway, go and grab a tray from the stack, it doesn’t matter, they have all warped uniformly – convex slippery plastic in a dome that only serves to make carrying plates a terrifying sliding game. The first cabinet has desserts. There are two kinds. It doesn’t matter what they are, you just take one. Then to the entrees. Two choices on any given day, go ahead and pick one. Either one will render you into a carb coma within minutes, it doesn’t matter. Then soup. Two choices. TAKE ONE. At this point you begin to realize that at the Hotel Cafeteria (where you can’t take out, and no, you never leave) there’s only one meal on the menu every day. Sure, there are variations, but basically you have the same thing as everyone else does. Dessert, entrée, soup and a drink. $9.15.  This maybe doesn’t seem too bad, unless you start to realize it’s a metaphor for working here, where the choices don’t matter and it all costs the same in the end.  Chilling, isn’t it?  Ok, I kid.

I have only eaten there once, and heaven help me I will never return if I can help it. Hunger is preferable to that joyless chewing exercise. I have rarely seen a sadder example of “lack of effort” on the part of a company. I mean maybe there was something healthy there, but I didn’t even see a piece of fruit.

This all reminds of another famous cafeteria, hm….
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

 

Note that any views expressed here are my own stupidity, and are for my own amusement.  Don’t take anything too seriously here folks.