As an IT person, I type things a lot. I type the same things a lot, even. However, despite LITERALLY years of experience and practice typing some of the same damn things my fingers stubbornly refuse to learn some of them. I mean, it’s pretty bad sometimes.
Here are some of my favourites.
ip[config ipconig etc
Ah yes, any nerd worth his salt knows this beauty. And no, that damn bracket doesn’t belong there. But, despite probably 20 years of practice, that’s what I type every damn time, or some jumble of things that look close, but not quite right.
Microsoft Excahnge
So, I work for Microsoft now, but even before that I essentially lived and breathed Microsoft Exchange (an email server product) for YEARS. Needless to say, I have probably typed that word a million times in my lifetime. Have I even come close to achieving proficiency? Nope.
And finally, the shortest most frustrating word that for whatever reason just won’t come out right the first time:
pign
Yeah, that’s supposed to be ping. Four letters. Wrong like 75% of the time. How is that even possible?
And all of this gets so much worse when someone is watching me type, it’s like my fingers are giving a 4th grade speech in front of the school.
Thanks for reading, I feel much better now, exorcising those denoms.
I have a theory: You can’t master these simple letter combinations because your brain is rejecting them. The reason: They are NOT real words. Technology-related language exists only for the world in which it dwells. I had to look up all of those words; I didn’t have a clue whether they were spelled correctly or what they meant (and I read dictionaries, for fun). If Jason reads this I know he’ll mock me in his Grandpa Simpson writing-a-letter-to-the-editor voice (and I’m fully anticipating that you will do the same). He’ll lecture me about the evolution of language and blah, blah. Nonsense. And IT lingo is not the only culprit. The ridiculous set of abbreviations and poorly-executed texting graphics that masquerade as words also signal the onset of the destruction of language — one of the things that makes us an evolved species. Already handwritten letters have become museum exhibits; it won’t be long till books join them. People will argue that technology is revolutionary and is only advancing our evolution. And, for the most part, I agree. But not when it comes to language; losing language in exchange for user-friendly technology is like traumatizing the kids during the divorce settlement. We have to save the words! And, to that end, please visit http://rosettaproject.org
OMG U R sooo rite! imho tbh I need a diktionery fer sure LMFAO
Sigh, ok that was too easy. In all honesty you are probably right on a brain function level as to why I can’t learn these things with muscle memory. However, in this case most of these “words” aren’t really words, in the sense that they advance our species. BUT, if you consider that these short abbreviations actually enable us (however indirectly) to have technology like the Internet then I’m thinking that they are probably for the best. Kids these days (join me in shaking your stick at them) will still do whatever they are going to do, regardless of our best intentions. Today’s hipster douchebags learning to knit because it’s retro and cool will one day scrawl out a note on bespoke handmade paper with a $90 artisanal pencil and hand it to someone who will incredulously open it, and tomorrow’s letter writing hipster douchebag craze is born.
See? The world is saved.