I am lucky enough to have a job that suits me perfectly.  I seem to have enough attention deficit that staying in one place for too long drives me up a wall.  So, I am very happy hopping from client to client, meeting the new folks, seeing the new things.  One thing I get to see a lot of is company cafeterias.  The cafeteria of a company is an infallible barometer for how fun it is to work there.  I have seen many now and I know this to be true.  A modern room, with lots of choices of things to eat, lots of sunlight, that kind of thing is usually a very strong indicator that the company at least has read SOME kind of management book written in the last 20 years about trying to keep your worker bees happy.

However, I have now seen the winner of all time.  Walk with me….

The room looks like a scene out of Orange is the New Black, but with slightly fewer coveralls. Think 1970s medical institution and you probably have it. Lots of green and terrazzo. Anyway, go and grab a tray from the stack, it doesn’t matter, they have all warped uniformly – convex slippery plastic in a dome that only serves to make carrying plates a terrifying sliding game. The first cabinet has desserts. There are two kinds. It doesn’t matter what they are, you just take one. Then to the entrees. Two choices on any given day, go ahead and pick one. Either one will render you into a carb coma within minutes, it doesn’t matter. Then soup. Two choices. TAKE ONE. At this point you begin to realize that at the Hotel Cafeteria (where you can’t take out, and no, you never leave) there’s only one meal on the menu every day. Sure, there are variations, but basically you have the same thing as everyone else does. Dessert, entrée, soup and a drink. $9.15.  This maybe doesn’t seem too bad, unless you start to realize it’s a metaphor for working here, where the choices don’t matter and it all costs the same in the end.  Chilling, isn’t it?  Ok, I kid.

I have only eaten there once, and heaven help me I will never return if I can help it. Hunger is preferable to that joyless chewing exercise. I have rarely seen a sadder example of “lack of effort” on the part of a company. I mean maybe there was something healthy there, but I didn’t even see a piece of fruit.

This all reminds of another famous cafeteria, hm….
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

Note that any views expressed here are my own stupidity, and are for my own amusement.  Don’t take anything too seriously here folks.