As I contemplate just how cold the van likely is right now, and just how unpleasant my walk to it will be later (given the record breaking cold snap here at the moment), the thought of a roaring fire is enough to make me weep with happiness.  Maybe even a nice hot snack.  Fortunately Norway has our back on this one, since they recently had a truck load of cheese catch fire in a tunnel.  Yep, 24 tons of goat’s milk cheese apparently burns with demonic urgency since it burned for FOUR DAYS before they were able to put it out.  It will see the tunnel closed for a few weeks to clean up, cause we all know how hard it is to scrape burnt cheese off of stuff.  I mean it’s not like they have a self-cleaning option on that tunnel, amirite?  Apparently efforts to douse the fire were hampered by the long lines of mellowed out Norwegian people waiting patiently with fondue forks and wine glasses in hand.

Unrelated, Norwegian Tunnel Fondue is the name of my next band.

There’s a joke in there somewhere about not getting cheese in your Norwegian tunnel in the first place, but I’m a gentleman and I won’t go there.  Not to Norway, I would totally go there, I mean the joke.