Parenting is hard.  There are so many possible ways that you can screw up, it’s a gauntlet of therapy-inducing phobias that you can pass on to your kids that will really mess them up forever.  Some parents try to avoid these pitfalls, but really it’s only a matter of time before your kids will just find one on their own and latch on, riding that sucker right through to middle-age or later until they (maybe) finally address it with some aggressive shock therapy in a grungy abandoned hospital basement in New Jersey with a “Doctor” they found on the net.  Or something like that.

Or you can just shortcut all that crap, and just give your kids pant-shitting fears of your own choosing.  A lot faster, easier and then there’s none of that constant worrying.  It’s pretty attractive, you have to admit.  Anyway, that’s the kind of thinking that I assume has gone into this awesome company:  Evil Birthday Clown

Essentially, you hire this guy who will dress as an evil clown and STALK your child for a week.  He will send menacing text messages, set traps, make phone calls to your child, and generally make damn sure your kid will ALWAYS remember what their worst fear is.  The game of it all is he is trying to hit your kid in the face with a pie (of dubious origin).  If your kid manages to avoid 1) getting hit with the pie and 2) becoming a raving gibbering lunatic, why then the clown will give your child the pie.  Sounds like a GREAT birthday.

What in the ever-loving world would make you do this to ANYONE, let alone one of your own kids?  (Lockrey excluded)  This is some scary messed up shit right here.

Thanks Boing Boing, for warning me.