It seems that our youngest child has been on a roll lately, thought I would share some of the fun with you.
Cael on eating pizza:
I would like one piece of pizza because I am fit and thin
Cael on receiving his new hockey team toque (which he hasn’t taken off his head in the three days since):
Mmmm, it still has that new toque smell.
Cael giving a mall Santa his modest list of Christmas gift wishes:
An EXACT mannequin of himself
A jetpack
A skateboard half-pipe
The ability to levitate.
Yes, of course, Santa has a whole WHACK of extra Cael mannequins just LAYING (literally) around. These don’t sound like normal 6 year old demands, do they?  What does a new toque smell like? Will I look back on these things later and hit myself in the forehead and say “It was all right there, why didn’t I see the signs he was starting to display super-villain tendencies?”.
Sounds like our house…what will come out of their mouths next? A few weeks ago Allison was writing her Santa letter and Julia noticed it was getting pretty long. She thought it was a long list of gifts but Allison explained (and I heard from the next room) that you ‘gotta butter him up’ by asking questions and stuff and then you’ll get what you ask for in your letter. Julia replied that she thought it had to do with being ‘good all year’ but Allison promptly corrected her. “That’s what parents say but they have no power. You really have to get on Santa’s good side.” Then she suggested Julia ask for World Peace to make up for her lack of questions…. I was silently laughing so hard I almost cried.
Court this was way to funny. If Santa brings Cael the ability to levitate I want some too!
I’m not going to lie; you should be concerned. But if Cael becomes some kind of evil genius and one day takes over the world, I believe Eyvi will be his vice-president. Over the years young Eyvi has not only had extremely bizarre gift requests (a fish that can live on land, the power to read people’s minds, and pants that never get wet), but he has also delved into the question of Santa’s existence with characteristic eccentricity. He skipped right over the usual questions about the transportation of toys and the flying reindeer and stated very matter-of-factly, “If there is no Santa then there is definitely no God.†I was afraid to ask how he had arrived at this equation.
I am 100 per cent certain that my future will hold the moment you described, except I won’t be saying I should have seen it coming; I’ll be wondering why I didn’t do more to stop its arrival. Sadly, it isn’t because of his precociousness and shining wit. It’s way less endearing and admirable than that. By age two Eyvi had earned the nickname “Jimmy Junk;†a charming reference to his advanced curiosity about his little package. My anxiety bout his behaviour increased ten-fold after I opened the day care and Eyvi found himself in the presence of several young ladies every day. One day I was preparing lunch when I noticed that the living room had become uncharacteristically quiet. The silence was followed by uproarious laughter and Eyvi inviting his cohort to “go ahead, touch it.†The thought of looking was slightly less frightening than that of not looking and then having to deal with the aftermath of whatever wickedness Eyvi had inspired. So I looked. And, as expected, it was out. I swooped in and preserved the innocence of one precious four-year old girl. I wasn’t so lucky a few weeks later when Eyvi decided it would be hilarious to play a good old-fashioned game of naked tag. The little three-year-old girl joined the fun instantly, pulling off her dress and squealing with glee as she ran through the house in her panties. Soon all four of my charges were in various states of undress. I chased down one gal and, while I wrestled her into a pair of pants, Eyvi tagged and tackled the three-year-old. I looked up to see him smacking her on the butt while she shrieked, “More, more.†What an awesome picture for the day care brochure.
My god, these comments make me feel MUCH better about my chances of raising Cael into adulthood without being called to testify for a grand jury. Thank you for sharing, ladies.
Pingback: Xmasleaks « Mundane Ramblings