Huge heads not just good for smashing against things….

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It seems that scientists have discovered that the size of your skull can be a factor in staving off the effects of Alzheimers.  Anyone who has met me in person and felt in person the force of my magnetic personality will understand perfectly when I say this:  I win at the Alzheimer’s game.  I beat all of you.  There is no winning against me, for my head is made of win.

Here’s a little clarification for you; that’s not my magnetic personality you are feeling, but rather the gravitational pull of my skull actually causing you to lean towards me.  I have a huge head.  Measurably so.  I have never met a head bigger than mine, and it’s a regular party gag to throw down and have a measure-off with anyone in the room.  I am a skinny dude with an enormous melon, and nobody expects me to beat the huge guys with the muscles, but I do.  When I finally lose the battle with hair loss it will probably be a lot more obvious, but for now I can safely say that I will out last any of you in the Alzheimer’s department, and nobody knows it until the tape measures come out.

The most ironic thing of all is I have probably the worst memory (for some things).  Just ask my wife Lorraine or especially my sister, um, Betty.

4 thoughts on “Huge heads not just good for smashing against things….”

  1. Ah Courtney; always entertaining. It’s funny that you mention balding—you might have your large head to blame for your hair loss (not that I think you’re losing your hair or that men who lose their hair are any less attractive than their full-headed counterparts . . . enough disclaimers??). I interviewed a prof at U of W who claimed that men whose skull bones continue to grow during adulthood are far more likely to develop male patterned baldness. Jason’s skull must have been fully formed long before adulthood, given his obscenely luxurious head of hair . . . not even a grey in sight (did that smart a little?!). I guess he won’t be winning any head circumference contests at parties. In his brash youthful days his preferred bar stunt usually involved bets where the loser consumed a beer via his leg. I really think that beats a big head any day of the week.

  2. I agree that’s enough disclaimers on balding, and the huge head does sort of make sense that what hair I have is just spread out a bit more than most. I will just have to sigh in envy at Jason’s obscenely gorgeous head of hair, and yes that smarts…. I will admit that his bar bet consequences are intriguing. Did they call him Keg Leg by any chance? I will admit that the potential for humour on a prosthetic leg probably far exceeds a large head, and I never actually tried to go with the whole “prosthetic head” angle, but now I see I should have.

    Paula, as usual you are a ray of light on my thinning balding cranium (which reminds me to reapply sunscreen up there, an increasingly important task).

    Thank you!

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