A brief rant: why the heck did Canada get saddled with being the worldwide source of peameal bacon for the Americans? Who decided it would be called “Canadian bacon” forever? It’s not called that anywhere else in the world. In fact, I would take a guess and say that most Canadians would probably just prefer regular old bacon to peameal bacon for breakfast. If we were peameal gobbling gluttons I could understand the label, but that’s just not the case. Do we refer to burgers from McDonalds as American Big Macs? Of course we don’t, because that would be silly.

Now cut that out, Yanks. Don’t get me all riled up like that. With this Canadian bacon-induced blood pressure of mine, I’m liable to pop any second now, it’s not healthy to be all excitable and agimatated. Yes I said agimatated, I make up words when I’m frothustered.