This just in:  Zoo officials have imprisoned a chimp named Cheetah in Antwerp who is so devilishly charismatic they warn visitors to not look him in the eye, lest they fall under his spell.  What kind of magnificent chimp must he be?  I mean that must be one seriously persuasive chimpanzee, because I never found them to be all that compelling.   Comical, certainly, but I’ve never had any trouble avoiding eye contact with a chimp on roller skates or smoking a cigar.

Truly amazing that they have managed to capture this phenomenal animal.