Some of the newer things to come across my desk, all ripped off from various smarter blogs than this one.

First we have a car lighter-powered toaster oven, for those times when you absolutely must have hot food while driving. I can’t see a downside to 450 degree pizza pockets at 120 km/h can you? It really brings that whole unhealthy lifestyle/no exercise/bad diet thing to a neat vicious circle, doesn’t it?

Further along in the “absolutely no exercise at any cost” train of thought it this: a Robot lawn mower. This isn’t that difficult to imagine having, really. It would create a really interesting sort of hybrid lawn over time, though. I mean the thing never stops mowing, basically. Each blade of grass would only have like a couple of hours to grow before it grew too high again. I wonder what kind of super-weeds would develop on that lawn? Weeds that learn to grow up the side of the house or something, out of the reach of the mower.

Then, thinking ahead to colder times as all Canadians do when it’s 40C outside, we have the V8 Snow Blower. Yep, forget about the price of gas for a second and just think how far you could blow that damn ice bunker at the end of your laneway. I mean you could probably deposit it neatly 500m away, maybe in the middle of the closest intersection. It also comes with the manly goodness of a large motor, that undoubtedly sounds wonderful when revved up to 4000 or 5000 rpms. Perfect for those whisper-quiet frosty mornings when the crystalline air hangs still and your nose hairs freeze together. I’m sure the neighbours won’t mind it one bit when you fire up your big-block V8 to clear the laneway at 6am.

Which brings us to the Balloon Bazooka. This is an air-powered behemoth that can launch a water balloon up to 500 feet. It sort of takes the whole “fun” aspect out of a water fight, doesn’t it? I mean forget the infantry tactics, flanking, charging, etc. your $25 SuperSoaker isn’t going to matter much if the enemy is raining water balloons on your head from that far away. Check out the videos of this thing, it’s ridiculous. At that speed a water balloon would really really hurt. Nothing like good old rednecked fun.