This is a good one.

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that you decide one day that current amusement park technology no longer amuses you. It could happen I suppose. 80mph roller coasters that put you through 2 or 3 times the Earth’s gravity become so passé after a while. I mean you could almost sleep on some of these things.

So, along comes the ROBOCOASTER to help shake you out of your ennui. Literally. Some crazy person designed this thing using what looks like an automotive assembly line robotic arm with a couple of chairs bolted onto it. This maniacal Terminator shakes the living crap out of you in every direction, essentially turning your insides into warm slurry which you are sure to eject as soon as this thing stops. It looks just like some enraged machine flinging hapless meatbags in The Matrix, I can’t imagine paying to try it. Some high points from the product web site; 4.9 meters per second maximum speed, it’s connected to the Internet (so some hacker punk can literally have his way with you) and it runs Windows, oh great. That’s just begging for a “blue screen of death” or “crash” joke, which is sadly, far too easy.

Check out the videos of the thing in action, they don’t actually show anybody walking away from the ride, although they do show a poor bugger getting into a wheelchair after one ride. I can only hope he was in the wheelchair before the ride.