This should come as no surprise to anyone, but apparently there are grown people living their lives as infants. I mean literally. With diapers, bottles, etc. Don’t believe me? I almost don’t myself, but for that we have the wonderful Internet to cast the doubt right in your face.
It’s a long, strange, sad read.
As for closing puns, I’m sort of at a loss, but I’ll give it a try.
For crying out loud, what a bummer. That really sucks.
Sorry, that’s all I have, and they’re weak.