As the website says “Life just got easier”.

Let’s say you suddenly find yourself with several hundred live chickens that need catching, for the sake of argument. It could happen. Let’s say you have tried your best to catch those cluckers by hand, but you’re just getting too darn tired.

Well brother have I got a product for you.

The Bright Coop E-Z Catch Harvester is made with your needs in mind. Let me tell you, there’s no better way to catch hundreds and hundreds of chickens than a gas powered chicken mower, and just so you don’t get tired, it’s all operated by wireless remote control. Yessiree. Just you watch that video on the site there to see this baby in action. The chickens are swallowed up by the thing and fired along a telescoping metal chute with a conveyor belt at high speed into the cage. When that’s full they chamber another from the magazine and everything proceeds along at a maniacal pace.

What the video doesn’t show is when the chickens arrive at their destination, they run the thing in reverse to unload, and the whole contraption becomes a fully automatic chicken gun, with a firing rate of 300cps (chickens per second) at a muzzle velocity approaching 200miles an hour. The things are cooked from the friction against the atmosphere by the time they hit whatever the thing is pointed at. It’s a virtual death machine, raining super heated poultry down on whatever mob of angry vegetarians you point the thing at.

It’s exceptional engineering, no doubt about it. And as the website says, the product is made “…to reduce stress on the chickens.” Oh, yeah, I’m sure it’s a walk in the park for those poor feathered bastards.