On Thursday Lloyd decided to take things up a notch.  Let me begin by saying that there is unfortunately no photographic record of these events, for which I am eternally sorry and for which I beg your forgiveness.  If nothing else, those pictures would make for better blog posts, so while part of me hopes we don’t have a repeat performance, another part of me is entirely convinced that you will eventually see those pictures here.

First off, Lloyd decided he was thirsty and so he personally drained the toilet of water in our powder room.  Then after a particularly vigorous play with Harvey looked me right in the eye as he stopped to take a leak at the top of the stairs, which I later saw as I cleaned it up trailed off in a crooked, dribbly trail as he managed to choke it off while running away from me and my strangled cries of outrage.

That’s not news, he’s been here before a few times.  The best part happened before I got home.  Here’s how it went down:

Nikki came home from swimming lessons with the boys and fed all of the kids lunch.  While the three kids were eating, the phone rang and she walked to the office to check the computer while she was talking.  At the same time the kids finished their lunch, which included munching on a veggie tray from Costco, I’m sure you have seen them.  This one had a container of salad dressing in the middle, to be used as dip, naturally.  Lloyd had already finished his own lunch in typical fashion; eating and slurping so fast he usually makes it all the way upstairs before burping thunderously.  Every.  Time.  Anyway, the kids left the table, and Lloyd saw his moment.  Jordy found him STANDING on our kitchen table, all four paws, slurping away happily at the veggie dip.  By the time she dragged him off the table, the dip had vanished so completely Nikki didn’t even have to rinse the container to recycle it.  We then decided that the veggies that surrounded the dip were also a lost cause, since we couldn’t imagine the correct amount of washing that would make anyone feel good about eating them.

This would be the end of the story, but it’s not.  Most of us would not be able to relate just what happens to the average digestive system after eating two cups of salad dressing in one go.  I can, however.  The warm, breathy, kibble-and-ranch-scented burps were not what I noticed, but rather the four or five trips we made to the front lawn in the wee hours of the morning.  Neither one of us was very happy to be out there to do that, but I will say that I wager I had the better end of that deal.  To his credit, there were no messes in the house, but our lawn looked like a pasture.

So, there you go folks.  All of this happened in one day.  After some reflection, Nikki and I agreed to hereby increase Lloyd’s food and water ration (again).  His dish is already filled to capacity with each meal, so until I can get him a bigger one I have started feeding him four meals a day…

Our dog food guy loves us.