Permit me a moment of frustration before I resume my customary snark.

This morning started off with a visit to the dentist’s office.  Usually not a big deal, but it’s always a pain because of our uninsured status, it means the Visa card needs a filling.  Upon leaving there, I notice I am out of windshield washer fluid, which Canadian cars consume faster than gasoline in the winter.  No problem, stop at the gas station to get a jug.  One small problem, it seems the hood on the Stratus has rusted shut and resists every attempt to open it.  Huh.   I manage to shrug that one off and throw some snow on there and head out to work.  As anyone who has tried that knows, the snow trick works for exactly 23 seconds on any road before the windsheild is completely opaque.  Then begins my favourite activity of trying to draft right up onto the tail of the largest truck I can find, while driving completely blind mind you, to use the road spray to moisten my parched, waxy windshield enough to actually see while driving.  It’s a catch-22 that in order to see where you are going to must cozy up to the vehicles most likely to render you and your vehicle into a fine reddish metal slurry.  Nevermind that I’m doing this while trying to drink a scalding “Tim Horton” gas station coffee tasting mostly like used engine oil.  Mmm, splashy screamy.  Finally I can more or less see somewhat, and then the game is to stay as far away as possible from any vehicle spray to protect my precious forward visibility.  Fine, now it’s time to make an appointment to fix the car.  Call the mechanic with the lame joke “If you can get the hood open, you get to change the oil, ha ha.”.  He didn’t find it funny.

Get off the Queensway, narrowly avoid tagging an angry-poet-hipster-dufus at the corner, proceed to parking garage while getting windshield entirely covered with crap, and becoming blind just as I enter the dark bowels of the garage, ignoring the ominous “Lot Full” sign.  Then it’s creep about the dimly lit garage, Magoo-like with my head hanging out the side window like a Labrador going to the beach.  Park car, get up to the office roughly 1.5 hours later than normal and try to pretend that the previous 3 hours didn’t happen.  

Just writing it all down has helped tremendously.

Thank you for your time.