Ok, so I hope I don’t start just looking for the stupidest people alive to talk about here, but here’s a story about a woman who couldn’t manage to open a 2L pop bottle without the cap hitting her in the eye and causing some permanent damage. Of course she’s not that stupid because she’s suing Coke over it.

Quote: “In the suit, Douglas claimed the company failed to warn consumers of the serious risk in ordinary handling of a pop bottle. The company failed to do its research and testing so carbonated drinks wouldn’t cause harm to its customers, said the suit.”

You know she may have a point. Those things can be dangerous.

Here’s some other lawsuits to watch for:
“I pounded the Q-Tip into my ear with a ball peen hammer and it caused me irreparable hearing loss and brain damage, despite the manufacturer’s claims that it has 30% more cotton on the tip. Give me $100 million.”
“I shredded the tip of my finger off with my food processor when I attempted to push a pea into the hopper with my bare hand. Shredded peas are an important part of my Shaolin Monk diet, give me $50 million.”

When will our environment more efficiently cull the herd? It’s only a matter of time before people become stupid enough to take themselves out in even greater numbers than ever before. Right?